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The Angry Red Planet

1/31/2022

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Topping off these B movies is the truly unique 'Angry Red Planet'. While definitely landing under the category of "so bad it's good", I have to at least give the film a little bit of credit for creativity. We see it in the cinematography, as it makes everything on Mars an odd shade of red (almost like a photo negative), and in the creature design - most famously, if you Google this movie, you're bound to see a giant crab, spider, bat... thing. It's would-be nightmare fuel if it didn't look so corny.

The film also goes by the names 'Invasion of Mars' (not to be confused with 'Invaders from Mars') and 'Journey to Planet Four'. The interesting mix of (RED/ORANGE) colours in the Mars scenery, and hilariously designed creatures are largely due to a low budget time restraint of only nine days to film! Could you imagine filming a whole movie in nine days!? Even famously rushed films get about a month (give or take). Anyway, this gave way to "CineMagic", which combines hand-drawn animation with live-action (way before 'Roger Rabbit'). However, the process created clearly terrible-looking stuff (even if it feels original), and was only seemingly used once more for a 'Three Stooges' movie.

As for the film, it opens with mission control awaiting the arrival of the "Mars Rocket 1", following the first manned mission to Mars. On its way in, however, ground technicians can't seem to communicate with the astronauts. The ship is safely landed by remote control, and only two of the four crewmembers are found alive; Dr. Iris Ryan (Naura Hayden) and Col. Tom O'Bannion (Gerald Mohr). O'Bannion's arm is covered in a strange alien gunk, and this ultimately leads to a "how did we get here?" story, as Ryan explains the mission in detail during her debriefing. So most of the film is a story in memory.

As one can probably expect, this is full of all the wonderful cheese that we've come to expect from your average 50's B movie (1959, specifically). The ultimate message, in the end, had a lot to do with how advancing technology is a dangerous thing. But the final bit of the movie where this message takes place is actually too funny to spoil. It's not a big deal, but when all said and done, it's totally laughable (which probably doesn't come as much of a surprise). And for as much credit as I may give the film for originality, none of that actually makes the movie any good. I mean, a log of poop that can breathe fire and speak fluently is original too, but try handing that idea into a big-time producer.

Simply put, this is, like most B movies of the era, super fun and corny. It's an acid trip of a romp, loaded with the finest cheese, and almost has to be seen to be believed with some of the choices made. Fair warning, things start really slow. So don't fret if you're not laughing at the absurdity of everything from the get-go. Personally speaking, I found things got "good" right around the time you first see Mars' surface. But with that said, it's a part of Amazon Prime's collection if you're a subscriber. So if you have about an hour and a half with which to lose your mind, head on over and check it out

2/5

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