Not of This Earth

<<

Under the Radar

>>

This one comes to us from Roger Corman; a name synonymous with B movies that we watch as guilty pleasures these days. In fact, look no further than the library of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' mockery. The list is pretty extensive. I might also add that this isn't the only one of his movies I have on this list. Basically, this was a guy who could parallel the ever-famous Ed Wood in the same era of schlock.

An alien, calling himself "Mr. Johnson" (Paul Birch), takes up residence in Los Angeles. He talks kind of strange, and has this weird thing about wearing sunglasses (even at night, as he goes full Corey Hart), but otherwise appears basically normal. Although, behind those shades lies a stare that can kill, just by looking at it. Hailing from a planet called Davanna, his people have developed an incurable blood disease, and he was sent to collect human blood for its similarities. He manages to off a few victims here; all the while his assistant, Jeremy (Jonathan Haze) being completely unaware.

Our "Heroes" of this film are the witty nurse Nadine Storey (Beverly Garland), whom Johnson hires for housekeeping, and her cop buddy, Harry Sherbourne (Morgan Jones). If you're looking for people to route for here, you don't really get it, though. There's a lot of dryness to these characters, and a lot of the jokes are lame. The real humour of this comes from the casual dialogue, often involving blood. Some choice lines include "You shall have blood" and "If I do not receive blood within four chronoctons of time, I will have no need of emotion." The delivery is similar to Maggie saying "I need blood" at the end of 'Treehouse of Horror IX'.

This is another one of those movies you might put on a Bad Movie Night list. But with that said, I think there are better titles (even for that purpose) out there. This one feels like you might need more of a twisted sense of humour to really like the dialogue in the same way someone like myself does. I know it's weird, but casual banter about blood with the right delivery can be hilarious. Think of Patrick Stewart telling one of his fellow actors "I need your blood" just randomly. It's like there has to be some sort of class behind it for it to be funny. Anyway, a bit hard to narrow down, but if you check out this flick (available for free, a lot of places online) you'll get what I'm talking about.

Now, one unanswered question my readers may be wondering is what in Planet X's hellish orbit is that thing in the accompanying pic? While I was under the impression that this creature would have been the focus of this movie, going into it, it's merely a sort of drone that gets called upon by Johnson to dispose of anyone who finds out he's "not of the Earth". But I've gotta say, it's funny when it does show up. So, if nothing else, this all amounts to a fun movie to watch if you have the time for a little over an hour of random stupidity, and quotes about blood you may never hear elsewhere. Get the friends together and have a laugh!

2/5

---