To cap off this month of Campbell, I decided to go with the one where Bruce plays not only himself, but potentially the worst version of himself. He does it really well, it's further proof that the man can have a good laugh at himself, and despite its low ratings, I actually kinda love this one. Of course, there may or may not be pot-laced carrot cake involved with my first watch on this, which may have made me enjoy it a little more than others did. It's possible that now there's just that connection with it. But I digress. The film opens in the small mining town of Gold Lick, Oregon, where a die hard Bruce Campbell fan named Jeff (Taylor Sharpe) and his friend Clayton (Logan Martin) meet a couple of girls at a cemetery; Big Debbie and Little Debbie (Ariel Badenhop and Ali Akay, respectively). While wandering around, Jeff takes a mysterious medallion from the mausoleum, which in turn releases the Chinese God of War, Guan-Di (James Peck), who also happens to be the patron saint of bean curd. It sounds silly, but after doing a little bit of looking, I learned that there's some truth to this lore - at least as far as mythical Chinese deities go. These events lead Jeff to the one and only Bruce Campbell, who is living his life in a bit of a rut. His divorce is final, he can't stop getting B movie roles, and his only friend is his dog, whom he shares beers with, drowning out his sorrows. When Jeff finds Bruce, he kidnaps him and brings him back to town in order to fight the spirit of Guan-Di, because of course, Bruce Campbell is a pro at horror monster killing. Bruce goes with it, thinking that it's a role play of sorts, as a surprise birthday present from his agent, Mills Toddner (Ted Raimi). This is mostly fueled by Jeff's Mom, Kelly (Grace Thorsen) who Campbell develops an immediate thing for. Little does he know that he's about to get into the real deal. Can he keep his composure? Truth be told, it's not the best quality of movie. It's relatively basic, and there's not a whole lot to it, but I have to say that it delivers some laughs. So let's talk about Ted Raimi. He has a bit of a thing for taking on "foreign" roles. Here, aside from Mills, he plays Wing (an old Chinese harbinger of doom) and Luigi (an Italian running gag who has to keep painting the town's population sign). He's got a bit of a Rob Schneider thing going on with that, but I'm sorry to say, they are some of the funniest bits of the film - not because of the stereotypes, but because of the jokes that are written for these characters. Luigi is just so frustrated about having to paint the sign, and the gag works out to have a pretty funny punchline, and Wing actually has my favorite line of the whole film, which I won't put out of context here, but if you've seen it - the line right after his "dispelling dance". So for me, the laughs have nothing to do with the racist stereotypes being portrayed, but I do feel like I'm walking a fine line with it. So fair warning if you may be sensitive to such things. The real entertainment value to it, however, is just Bruce Campbell willingly playing what could be his stereotypical self. He's cocky, has a bad attitude, treats his fans like a bunch of morons or objects. He once used me as an arm rest in real life. Photo at the bottom of the page - my smile is a little wonky, as I was a tad starstruck. Anyway, it's a weird thing to say, but he plays himself so well. What I mean by that is that sometimes someone plays themselves and often it can be a bit glorified. There's nothing like someone who can play the worst versions of themselves. My personal favorite is probably Michael Cera's polar opposite version of himself in 'This is the End', but Bruce playing himself here is a very close second - basically a coin flip. There's not much more to say about it, so I'm gonna end it here. I had some fun this summer, going through a big chunk of Bruce Campbell's resume (with a couple of repeat views, including this one), even if a lot of them just came out as average at best. Campbell is a B movie actor, though, so one can't expect Oscar-worthy watches here. He caters to those who don't need to take movies seriously to enjoy them, and here, it shows. Hell, there's even lines that flat out insult him, saying things like how his films are childish, or that he was the worst part about 'Moontrap'. But the reality is that Bruce Campbell is a bit of a legend when it comes to cult horror, and even in comic book form, he's taken on Freddy and Jason as Ash. Like a good stiff drink, he may be an acquired taste, but once you acquire it, you fall down a bit of a rabbit hole with his stuff. 4/5
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Here we have a modern B movie, of sorts. This one comes to us from Bruce Campbell, himself, with both writing and directing credits. Being his debut in the director's chair, he's helped along by the legendary Sam Raimi (as they work so incredibly well together), and the lesser known David M. Goodman, for which this is his only writing credit. Together, they have created something very strange, indeed. I mean, if you couldn't tell already by the title and accompanying picture. This tale of twisted comedy centers a wealthy drug company CEO named William Cole (Campbell); a smug and rude American who travels to Bulgaria, on business, with his wife, Jackie (Antoinette Byron). The couple take a Taxi to get to their hotel, and luckily, the driver is an ex KGB agent named Yegor (Vladimir Kolev) who ends up protecting them from a car jacking. William pays extra to keep Yegor on-call for protection, which soon leads to Jackie cheating on William with Yegor while William's busy at a construction sight. The tables are soon unknowingly turned when William gets back to the hotel to find Tatoya (Tamara Gorski) and act on his own impulses - the difference being, he gets caught. Tatoya knocks William over the head, causing severe damage, and further murders Yegor, who witnesses the whole thing, and we do find out that Yegor and Tatoya were once a thing, but he escaped her murderous ways (she kills men who leave her). This leads to the pieces of Williams and Yegor's brain to be fused together by a mad scientist named Dr. Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov (Stacey Keach - in another Bruce Campbell movie) and his dopey but hilarious assistant, Pavel (Ted Raimi). To keep it short, William wakes up with the voice of Yegor in his head, and together, they seek revenge on the woman who killed them. There's more, but some of it has to just be seen to be believed. This is a movie that's very clearly running on "bad" on purpose. It's very much a B movie comedy, not to be taken too seriously. It's just Bruce Campbell's answer to a mad scientist movie, or a 'Frankenstein', if you will. This something like 'Upgrade', but a little more classic monster movie, and a little more clumsy. 'Upgrade' was badass, this is just silly - but for all the right reasons. At the very least, the film is entertaining, and did give me a few genuine laughs. If you are a Bruce Campbell fan, I might recommend it just to check out for a giggle, although it's not like it doesn't come with a few faults. I think the biggest thing to point out is that this is a film where the accents are immitated rather than legit, and often it can be a bit cringe-worthy, but that almost makes it funnier to me. These guys aren't taking anything seriously in this movie, and nor should anyone else. The rest of its downfall is just the strangeness of it all. Sometimes the humor just comes off as weak or trying too hard. It didn't do so hot with critics, but this clearly wasn't a film that was aimed at critics - it was aimed at those of us who like a good sci-fi comedy with old B monster movie elements, as only Campbell can deliver. For that, it works just fine. It's not "bad", per se, just... really odd. As far as Bruce Campbell's movies go, it's one title I remember seeing a lot of, but just not bothering with. I saw it on the shelf at Blockbuster (when that was still a thing), and kept debating on checking it out, but decided it looked too stupid. One must understand that my love for Campbell didn't come along until way later in life, and at that point, it was kind of 'Evil Dead' Universe or bust, for me. But this is just another film of his I'm glad I finally saw. I got some good laughs, and the film is perfectly passable for the sci-fi oddity that it's trying to be. Could have been better, but I also don't have any real complaints. 3/4 As far as Bruce Campbell's resume goes, I think it's safe to say that 'Bubba Ho-Tep' is the quintessential non-'Evil Dead' movie of his fans need to see. It seems to have reached a generous cult following, and 'My Name is Bruce' even references its popularity among the general public. But that review comes later. It's all with good reason, too. It's a great horror-comedy flick from the perspective of a bitter old Elvis impersonator - what more could you want? But there IS more. Known to the staff of Shady Rest Retirement Home as Sebastian Haff (Bruce Campbell), our hero claims to be the real Elvis Presley. It's explained away that in the 70's, he grew tired of his fame, switched places with Haff, and it was Haff who eventually died while he lived his life impersonating Haff, impersonating himself. It's a little convoluted, but it supplies the viewer with the question of whether he's actually Elvis, or just a guy who is convinced he's Elvis. Anyway, following a bad hip injury, he finds himself stuck at the Retirement Home, contemplating all of the negativity that comes with old age, and essentially he's laying there waiting to embrace the end of things. Elvis/Haff has a best friend who listens to him, taking him more seriously than others, named Jack (Ossie Davis) who swears to be John F. Kennedy, claiming his black skin color to be a dye job to disguise him after an assassination attempt, and being abandoned by Lyndon Johnson in the home. But while this entire set-up makes for a hilarious one, there's more going on in this home than meets the eye of Ra when Elvis/Haff and Jack/Kennedy find themselves going up against a re-animated Egyptian mummy, stolen from an American museum and lost in a storm. The mummy is dubbed "Bubba Ho-Tep" (Bob Ivy) by Elvis/Haff, wears cowboy duds as opposed to anything traditionally Egyptian, and goes around the home sucking the souls out of easy, bed-ridden prey for sustenance - which can be done through any orifice, by the way. The novella of the same name by Joe R. Lansdale can be found in an anthology book called 'The King Is Dead: Tales of Elvis Post-Mortem'. It really does make me wonder what kind of differences there might be to the written story, as this is a movie that takes a lot of weird turns, like the idea of sucking someone's soul out through their butt. Lansdale has a few TV/film adaptations under his name, all of them are under the radar, including Season 1, Episode 1 of 'Masters of Horror'; 'Incident On and Off a Mountain Road', a zombie film called 'Christmas with the Dead', a crime film called 'Cold in July', and a 3-season TV series called 'Hap and Leonard'. I figured I'd mention his works just in case a 'Ho-Tep' fan wants to see what else its creator created. 32 prints of the film were made, and it ended up being a touring movie, hitting up various film festivals and gaining a cult following powerful enough that by the time of its DVD release, everyone who was a Bruce Campbell fan seemed to at least know the name. So of all the Campbell titles to put "Under the Radar" this summer, this is probably about the only one that almost doesn't belong. But since Campbell is the undisputed king of cult film, and all things under the radar, of course it made the cut. Getting back to the actual film, and my overall opinion on it, I frankly love it. The whole concept is one of those things you hear about and suddenly have to see it because it sounds so ridiculous. It's definitely one of the most fun Campbell roles, and Ossie Davis as his sidekick adds a whole layer of comedy to everything. It's a film that's up my alley because it's so oddly original. I mean, it's Elvis vs. a cowboy mummy with a black sidekick who thinks he's JFK. It captures your attention, and then it's surprising to watch and come to terms with the fact that it's actually a good movie that speaks a lot for the elderly community and how they might feel we treat them. Some, with the right tools and attitude aren't as helpless as they may seem. If you haven't seen it yet as a Campbell fan, you need to fix that, because this movie's awesome in all the weirdest ways. 4/5 As far as this Campbell-filled summer goes, this is perhaps the weirdest title I've picked out to check. Despite a few big name actors, this one has totally fallen off the face of the Earth. It got to the point where the only version I could really find was a Rifftrax version on Amazon Prime. That makes it a bit harder to form a solid opinion on the actual movie, but I'll do my best. We meet Matt Foster (Sean Astin), who is trying his best to continue a happy relationship with his new fiancée, Meg (Suzanne Turner). However, her wealthy father, Bill (Stacey Keach) sees him as a bit of a lower-class ski bum, and there's a slight concern of Bill having objections to their marriage. Despite that, they decide to announce their wedding plans to Bill, and invite him up to Killington Ski Resort, where Matt works. Things are shaken up when a hijacked plane, carrying radioactive materials, crashes somewhere in the mountains. Enter the medically terminal terrorist, Carl Grieg (Bruce Campbell), who is the "victim" of the failed crash. Learning that the material is intact, he has his lieutenant, Frantz (Paul Schnabel) send in a team to get it. Grieg meanwhile takes the ski resort hostage, and threatens the whole area with a nuclear device if his plans don't follow through. Now the FBI is on his tail, lead by Will Langley (John James), and Grieg has to race against time to retrieve the radioactive materials he was denied. Further to that, Matt sees an opportunity to prove himself to his, hopefully, soon to be father in law by attempting to put a stop to the terrorists by any means necessary. He even gets the help of a raggedy looking forester named Beck (Mark 'Woody' Keppel) who's meant to be a bit of comic relief and fails pretty miserably. What can I say? This has been done before, and it never does work out to be a very good or memorable movie. I suppose the closest comparison I'd give to it would be something like 'Masterminds', where an "extreme" kid stops some sort of terrorist. It's not particularly funny, it's not particularly memorable, and you can pretty much gather how everything is gonna end. The names make it a bit worse, but one has to remember that this was filmed during a pretty down period for both Sean Astin and Stacey Keach. As far as Campbell, well, he's Campbell. It's a little bit disappointing to see that Bruce had to play the role more or less straight. If he could have played this a bit more loose, and "Ashed' the character up a little bit, it would still be bad, but could be such a guilty pleasure. Sadly though, nothing in particular stands out (except perhaps a snowmobile crash that had me laughing ironically). It's perhaps passable for some kind of straight-to-TV movie, but it's so far under the radar that its Wiki page explains the whole plot in a single sentence. So, if you're in the mood for an easy-to-watch giggle, the Riftrax version on Prime isn't a bad way to go. But I've also seen much better from that. All in all, this is one to just leave alone, unless you really wanna see what Sean Astin was doing before he played Samwise Gamgee in 'Lord of the Rings'. As far as it being a solid Bruce Campbell movie - it just isn't. There was nothing he did here that particularly stood out or impressed me, and you could tell that this was a simple paycheck movie for all of them. Nothing to hate, it's just kinda dumb and forgettable. 2/5 For this month, I did a little bit more homework on Bruce Campbell's roles. Today's review takes a peak at another horror role of his, that has developed a cult following from his devoted fans - and that's about the only audience I'd truly recommend this to. For those who wish to watch something very disturbing, while blending a together lot of different material, it's pretty great. But that's just the thing. It borrows from a hell of a lot (or so it seems). Released in 1991 (or '92, depending on what site you're visiting for research), one can pick out the recipe that formed such a film. You get yourself a 'Total Recall' base, add various measurements of 'Mad Max', 'Temple of Doom', throw in a dash of 'The Hills Have Eyes', and don't forget to add the Bruce Campbell cherry to top everything off. He's pretty much 'Army of Darkness' Campbell, but without the comedy. It's a little more serious, but he does get to play the broad-chinned hero here, which is what Campbell fans are gonna wanna see. In the year 2037, a nuclear war has all but destroyed the Earth entirely. Any of Earth's remaining people have retreated to a computer-controlled biosphere called Inworld, where computers control everything to do with human life, which includes a very 'Matrix'-like set-up. People are plugged in to live their lives out in a fantasy dream world, but in this case, they seem to be aware of everything, as they can unplug themselves to eat and use the bathroom. Some of the rules layed out for it are pretty open and loose. A young woman named Judy (Marta Martin), however, decides that she really wants to know what has happened to the real world. She wants very much to experience reality for all it's worth, and she spends about the first 15 minutes of the film talking about it until finally, Inworld's System Operator grants her wish by exiling her to the "Outworld" (no, not THAT Outworld). To her dismay, the world has essentially become the setting for 'Mad Max', sprinkled with a bunch of creepy 'Hills Have Eyes' mutants. Here, she meets Stover (Bruce Campbell), who rescues Judy, but soon enough finds himself down in the mutant underground with her. The mutants' plan, disturbingly enough, to breed with her. Can Stover save her, and can they escape with their lives intact? It's here that I'll feel fit to mention that nothing entirely graphic is seen. These mutants are creepy, and a lot of the imagery used is disturbing, but nowhere watching it did I feel like I had to brace myself for some really bad discomfort... that said, they do completely 'Saw' one young character here... Once again - for the hardcore Campbell fans. It ends with a fairly interesting twist that I, myself, didn't quite see coming. But once it happened, I will say I felt like it should have been more obvious to me. Altogether, it stands as a fairly standard film for what it is. This is a straight up B horror movie, starring the Campbell Man himself, who seldom takes on the serious. Campbell is there to give the horror fans a good time by playing a character who will cater to them, and this is really no exception. I had no problem accepting the film, and don't find it too necessary to pick on, despite its many flaws, which help the charm of it anyway. If I had to offer any real criticism, it's that parts of it drag in the beginning, and it borrows from so much that it looks all too familiar by 1991 (or '92 - which one is it, honestly?). Otherwise, this is one for the horror hounds who wanna see something that's gonna make 'em squirm. A lot of the practical horror effects here are based on gross-out moments, but they do look pretty freakin' good for something so low-budget. This is a good glimpse at some of Campbell's earlier work that isn't an 'Evil Dead' movie, featuring him as the action hero. It's not rated well for fairly obvious reasons, but I'm kinda glad I took the time to check it out. It's gruesome and disturbing, yes, but in all the best ways. 3/5 I must say, it's pretty unfortunate that I've yet again chosen a 'Bruce Campbell' title where he's not even that big a part of it. That's odd, considering he takes up 90% of the movie's poster, and is third billed in the cast. However, his role in this is important enough, as in a cast full of vampires, he's playing a descendant of Van Helsing, as well as providing much of the comedy relief. The film's main focus in on a colony of vampires who reside in a small, seemingly uncharted desert town called Purgatory, armed against the sun with shades, big hats and sunblock. Under the guidance of their ancient leader, Jozek Mardulak (David Carradine - top billed), they seek a peaceful coexistence with humankind. To help with this transition, artificial blood is made to sustain them, but the "blood" is a milky color, and it's not exactly real in comparison to draining actual fresh blood from a human. Sensing trouble, Mardulak brings in the plant designer, David Harrison (Jim Metzler), who brings along his wife, Sarah (Morgan Brittany - second billed) and two morbid young daughters, Gwen and Juliette (Vanessa Pierson and Erin Gourlay, respectively) thinking they're in for a nice summer vacation. David and his family soon find themselves in the middle of a vampiric civil war between the vampires led by Mardulak, who want peace and prosperity, and vampires led by another elder named Jefferson (John Ireland) who wants to take it back to the old ways. That's the essential plot of the film overall, but Van Helsing's descendant (Campbell) finally does make an appearance, there to hunt and destroy all vampires in town, but he may or may not find himself caught up in this battle through no fault of his own. So while the film lacks a lot of the Campbell I came to see, I have to admit that as a nifty cult vampire film, on the whole, it's really not bad. It's nothing great, but I can understand its cult following, and it does have the potential to grow on one over time. I thought the concept was pretty interesting, and when it comes to Van Helsing's role in it, it's honestly a very strange breath of fresh air. Campbell isn't your typical bad ass vampire hunting Helsing so much as the complete opposite of what you'd expect. He's awkward, clumsy, and doesn't seem to really know what he's doing. Being that he's not the legendary Van Helsing, but a descendant, it's neat to see who could be the black sheep of the family. The civil war between the vampires is an interesting one, because it's a case where I can't choose a side, because each side makes such a good point. The "good" vampires are tired from all the war between them and the humans over the centuries, and just wanna find a way to end it and not have to keep threatening each other's lives. Meanwhile, the old school vampires I see as basic carnivores. Imagine loving things like bacon, bugers, chicken, and then having it all substituted with vegan alternatives. To me, it's really the same difference, so siding with the "bad" vampires was actually very easy for me. The whole thing is capped off with a pretty intense gunfight (it is explained why the guns work, don't worry), and for a film this small a caliber, things are pretty well done. It's fairly tough to come across, so I found it on Amazon to rent for a mere $4.00, and I can honestly say I wasn't altogether disappointed with my purchase. The lack of Campbell ruins nothing. I will say that you have to go into this expecting quite a bit of cheese, and some pretty horrendous acting in parts, but the film does have a certain late 80's charm to it (1989 to be exact) and it works for exactly what it is - a cult comedy vampire film from the late 80's 4/5 This review's actually gonna be a really quick one because I can't think of a whole lot to say about it. I suppose the beginning is as good a time as any to mention that it's not really a Bruce Campbell movie. He's in it, but very much second banana to Walter Koenig (best known as Chekov from the original 'Star Trek' series). Further to that, Campbell plays it more or less straight here (at least, until one scene), and he's not given much to do. So if you want full Bruce, you won't find it here, sadly. Taking place twenty years after the Apollo 11 Mission to the Moon (present day, 1989) astronauts Colonel Jason Grant (Walter Koenig) and Ray Tanner (Bruce Campbell) encounter an abandoned spaceship while on board their shuttle, Camelot, on a routine mission. Grant heads out to investigate, and discovers an odd looking pod along with a random human corpse. As most movies like this go, both are brought back to earth for scientific study, while the audience can already see the 'Alien' ripoff about to happen. Upon study, it's discovered that both the pod and the corpse originated on the moon, 14,000 years ago. All scientists involved leave the lab, and of course, shit happens. The pod hatches, unleashing an alien that uses the corpse along with various mechanical parts to make an honestly pretty badass cybernetic body. It goes on a bit of a rampage, but is quickly destroyed. The potential for more destructive alien creatures from the moon leads the two astronauts on a new mission; to destroy them at all costs. There's just not much to say about this one. It could be a fun, goofy romp if you have the patience for it, but this kind of thing was already done better with 'Alien'. The biggest problem here is that it seems to leave all sorts of dangling questions. Like what's up with the ancient humanoid Moon society? Why do the aliens want to invade in the first place? Where do they come from? Just how big is Bruce Campbell's chin? And so on. They even stumble across a woman in suspended animation, a native of this Moon society, named Mera (Leigh Lombardi). But not much gets answered other than the name of the invading alien creatures. Or maybe there was, but I found myself drifting off because listening to her talk is a bit time-consuming. Quite honestly, I was not a fan. There was nothing new or different about any of this, and it felt much longer than it was. It only runs an hour and a half, but it felt more like two, and so much of it is seemingly filler. But this was director Robert Dyke's first attempt. He would later make a sequel called 'Moontrap: Target Earth', but it seemed to get even less attention than this. Dyke's better talent seems to lie in visual effects, working on films like 'Evil Dead II' and 'Angels in the Outfield' (he has range). Anyway, it's not terrible, but there's nothing about it that sticks out as good, either. It's pretty forgettable, overall, and the only thing even remotely interesting about it is the aliens, but that's only due to their cyborg-making skills (I will give it that scene - that was pretty awesome... even if it was too long). 2/5 I feel like I'm taking a bit of a chance with this review, considering certain conditions nowadays, and the fact that this is about a "maniac cop". However, considering this is the next Campbell movie on my list to review, famous in the Campbell subculture and has two sequels to cover, I'm going in, chin first. This is only meant to be a review on a film from 1988 for fun, and is not meant to stir up any controversy. This one comes to us from writer Larry Cohen (probably best known to a broader audience as a writer on 'Phone Booth' or 'Cellular') and director William Lustig (best known for either a few underground thrillers, or a wide range of horror/thriller documentary production). The pair give us an effective low budget slasher, much more in sync with something from the '70's. To compare, by this time Freddy was up to his fourth film, Jason was up to his seventh, and Michael Myers had only just "returned". While things were getting turned up in pop culture horror, this came along under the radar. It makes me think of the effectiveness of horror films closer to the first 'Halloween', in which our imagination showed us more gore than what was actually on screen. It's a friendly reminds that often less is more. In New York City, innocent citizens are being brutally slain by who appears to be a severely disgruntled NYPD officer. With a rising body count, Lt. Frank McCrae (Tom Atkins - who some may know best from 'Halloween III') ends up being told by his superiors to cover it up, and to head the investigation. Meanwhile, panicked New Yorkers are avoiding cops as much as possible, sometimes by killing them. We soon meet Jack Forrest (Campbell); a man with spousal problems at home, as his wife, Ellen (Victoria Catlin) suspects him of being the killer. She eventually follows him to a hotel, where she catches him cheating on her with his fellow officer, Theresa Mallory (Laurene Landon). Distraught, Ellen flees the scene, one thing leads to another, and Jack suddenly becomes suspect #1. Mallory, who was with him that night, then works with Jack to hopefully find the help he needs to clear his name. For as big a name as this is within the Campbell Community, I'm not sure that I particularly found much in this. It's in a weird situation where its greatest strength is also its greatest weakness. I find it cool, and respectable that this was a film that did harken back to the early slashers of the 70's, giving horror fans that "less is more" reminder. But that coming into play at the same time effects were starting to take off, and become a really big part of horror isn't effective. Mainstream horror movies were really brushed up, offering a few cool new practical effects, so this was probably pretty boring for its time. It might only be now that one can look back on this and appreciate it for what it was. So, while it's definitely not my favorite Campbell movie, I can appreciate that it did what it did on its low budget with some pretty solid underground players. Other than Campbell, the name Tom Atkins was one that really stuck out for me. He's from the non-Myers 'Halloween' movie, which I find gets similar appreciation to this one, in that it's far better to look at it nowadays (though maybe not right now) as a hidden classic rather than something that just "sucks". It may not have done much for me, but I can say that at the very least, it was an interesting piece of homework on Bruce Campbell's early stuff. 3/5 Kicking off the Summer of Campbell is a film I'm truly surprised I didn't know existed. Did anyone else know that Bruce Campbell co-produced a film directed by Sam Raimi, who also wrote the screenplay along with the Coen Brothers? I was actually gonna give this one a pass at first, as Campbell plays more of a side character, but the people involved otherwise pretty much forced my hand. This one is completely off the wall, and plays out as a very Looney Tunesque concept. Although it's deemed a comedy/horror of sorts, the comedy certainly takes over as the main genre, and the opening tells us all we need to know about what we're about to get into; a car full of nuns racing down the street! They are listening to a news report on the public execution of Vic Ajax (Reed Birney). As he's being led to the electric chair, he recaps the story of how he got there in the first place. He once worked at a security shop for Donald Odeguard (Hamid Dana) and Ernest Trend (Edward R. Pressman), and finds out that Odeguard was going to sell the security shop under Trend's nose to the greedy and overconfident Renaldo "The Heel" (Campbell) who plans to turn it into a gentlemen's club. He then makes Trend out to look like the real culprit, stating he'd have done anything to save that business, including hiring an extermination company who takes out such things as "rats, mice, bats, roaches, men and ants". The exterminators, Faron Crush (Paul L. Smith) and Arthur Coddish (Brion James), are two of the cartooniest live action characters you'll ever see. One could compare Crush to 'Popeye's Bluto, and Coddish to perhaps one of the weasels from 'Roger Rabbit'. While they're meant to be our "horror villains", the real creep here is who we came to see, Renaldo, who plays a constant romantic competition to Ajax. He's pretty much playing the role of Ash the way he played it in 'Army of Darkness', he's just not fighting off any evil here. While the exterminators are a couple of bumbling murderers, Renaldo is just a straight up asshole. The film offers up a ton of laughs, and it seems to be incredibly self-aware, much like 'Evil Dead 2', 'Army of Darkness' or pretty much any Bruce Campbell movie you could watch. It blends all the fantastic cheesiness of 80's slashers with cartoon comedy, and it's so much fun to watch. The only real downside is that it's damn near impossible to find. Cards on the table, this was one I had to download, and even the downloaded copy I have is pretty rough quality. But it wasn't so bad that i didn't enjoy it. I would love to see it made widely available, because fans are missing out on some of the great early work of everyone involved. If you can get your hands on it, and have the desire to go braindead fo about an hour and a half and just laugh at silliness that's attempting horror, this is a great watch. Honestly, it's one of the strangest yet funniest things I've seen in quite some time, and it even does it all somewhat artistically. There are shades of things like 'Creepshow' here as well, when it comes to the film's execution. Although this isn't exactly the best example of a Bruce Campbell film, as hhe's not really in it that much, it is a very interesting and fun watch. It had me laughing throughout, but largely in the same way I'd laugh at something like 'Beavis & Butt-Head'. It's a ridiculous movie, but the fact that it's so self-aware and hilariously stupid makes it kinda awesome, and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to see how Raimi and the Coen Brothers would collaborate on a film. That's what sold me! 4/5 An action hero turned washed up, B movie actor, Colton West (Steve Guttenberg) spends his current life forced to fight off giant bugs for big screen entertainment. He hates it, and it makes him miss his glory days in the 90's as a well-known superhero (at least in this universe). However, on his way home after being let go from a project, he suddenly finds himself facing off against a swarm of horrifying, fire-breathing spiders that erupt from a volcano nearby. This ultimately triggers Colton to get himself home to his family. In the meantime, his family ends up on separate paths. His son, Wyatt (Noah Hunt) ends up fighting his own battle against the flame-spewing arachnids alongside his friends, Jordan (Diana Hopper), Eli (Ben Snowden) and Travis (Zac Goodspeed). Meanwhile, his wife, Olivia (Nia Peeples) soon finds herself taken in by the Army after having a cheesetasticaly bad ass face-to-face with one of the spiders in her own home. While his family survives the arach-attack as best they can, it may be up to Colton to channel his hatred of working with bugs into finding a way to hopefully never do it again. But then, sequels are a thing. 'Lavalantula' actually happens to take place in the same universe as the 'Sharknado' films, as there is some character crossover here. In fact, Colton West eventually appears after this in 'Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens' and this film's sequel, '2 Lava, 2 Lantula'. You've gotta appreciate word-play like that when it comes to movies like these. I further appreciate the whole elemental aspect of these films, incorporating one of the four elements with a natural disaster and a creature. It's like they roll a three-sided die. What will they think of next? (and why do I already know I'm gonna be watching it?) Another interesting attachment is that it comes from the same guy who directed last week's Spider Feature, 'Big Ass Spider', Mike Mendez. This is a director who is slowly coming to my attention, and I'm enjoying his work, for the most part. He's about being very self-aware and having fun, realizing you're there for nothing more than a creature feature. He also directed the 'Friday the 31st' segment of 'Tales of Halloween'; a personal underground favorite for the season. Going back to the movie at hand for a second though, I can't say it's not completely without its problems. I never thought I'd see the day, but this actually features Michael Winslow who has been brought back to do a whole bunch of noises and sound effects. It's a lot of fun when he does this stuff to mess with people in the 'Police Academy' movies, or just act like someone who's lost his mind (as seen in 'Cheech & Chong's Next Movie'). But here, I get the feeling there wasn't much of a guideline for him to follow and they just let him do his thing, which unfortunately results in things like stereotypical Kung-Fu voices that don't necessarily fly with people as much these days. Its often kinda cringe-worthy, but I woudn't say he kills the movie, either. Another cameo comes along here that made me do a double-take. Only a select few will remember him, but Patrick Renna shows up here. He would be best known for his role as "Ham" Porter in 'The Sandlot', but ended up in a few things including 'The Big Green', and even an episode of 'X-Files' where he played an obsessive compulsive vampire named Ronnie Strickland. We haven't seen him for a while, but he actually hasn't stopped for all these years. Remembering him as comedy relief in films like 'Sandlot', he's got a similar role here as an obsessive and starstruck fan of Colton's. It's actually pretty entertaining to me how he's so in awe, but casual about it at the same time. He hasn't lost his timing. It's kinda funny that I remember not getting a whole lot out of 'Sharknado', perhaps looking at it the wrong way at the time. I never did bother with anything in the series since then, but this made me second guess myself. One could take both of these series and parallel watch them, looking for some sort of continuity. The best part is, these movies are Syfy originals, so no one's really looking for cinematic quality. It's just some B movie fun, and I would say very similar to 'Eight Legged Freaks' in some of its execution. I had a lot of fun with it, see it for what it is, and once again recommend it lights down with a bunch of popcorn - check for spiders first. 4/5 It's not all too often that I get completely torn about a movie, but this was one of those situations. With a title as silly as 'Big Ass Spider!', one has to know that they're in for something pretty laughable. It's a modern B movie, plain and simple. And with that, I got some good laughs, some good scares (there's a face-melting scene here that hit a nerve), but for some reason, I still feel a bit let down by it. The whole thing opens with a very tragic-looking scene; emotional music playing, slow-mo, and our hero, Alex Mathis (Greg Grunberg) approaching the scene in the accompanying photo. It then flashes back to tell us the story of how he got there. The way it does it is very abrupt, and I felt like there wasn't really any set-up. The audience already knows they're there to see a "Big Ass Spider", and all this really did was show us the obvious before it got going. It may as well have just started, and it almost just felt like a spoiler. Anyway, Alex is an exterminator, working in LA. One day on the job, he gets bitten by a spider and sent to the hospital for treatment. Meanwhile, in the hospital's morgue, rodent-sized spider pulls an 'Alien', bursts out of a new cadaver's chest, and bites the mortician, resulting in... nothing much. The mortician brings the spider to the attention of the rest of the staff by pulling the fire alarm, which brings in some authority, led by Major Braxton Tanner (Ray Wise) and Lt. Karly Brant (Clare Kramer) who seems to know exactly what this spider is all about. Alex offers to capture the spider if his hospital bill can be paid off in exchange for his services. He is assisted by a security guard named Jose (Lombardo Boyar), and together they discover that this spider seems to be growing in size. Come to find out that the spider is the result of a military experiment that involves mixing the DNA of a spider and an alien (giving the chest spider a whole new perspective, but don't worry, no ties to 'Alien' movies here). That brings me to my next point - it's never explained why the military made this giant spider. The only thing my imagination can fill in the blank with is weaponization, otherwise I suppose it was just them pushing the big red button and saying "I wonder what would happen if I did this". It becomes unimportant and tossed aside because the spider is growing exponentially, and about to terrorize the city. Can the spider expert and the security guard help the military to stop the spider before it becomes too much to handle? This is a difficult one for me because the bad and the good are almost equal extremes. On one hand, it delivers in laughs, scares (including not terribly cheap jumps), and only promises its audience exactly what the title suggests. As mentioned before, you can't go into a movie with a title like this and expect to be blown away. On the other hand, some of the issues I had are big deals to me. The opportunity for an explanation behind this creature was there, even if the explanation was stupid, we never got a "why" answer. I'm also still a bit baffled by the beginning. I could see the filmmakers wanting to have a big reveal at the beginning if the trailers didn't give us anything, but they did. Generally, a beginning like this is meant to set up the story you're about to see, but this was just a long, drawn-out visual that honestly felt like filler. It's a weird thing to get under my skin, but it does - just get going with the movie, unless you have something to say first. Criticisms and nitpicking aside, however, the overall product is still a fun, creepy crawly time, and it's probably just about as violent as one would want it to be as a PG-13 flick. It had a very limited theatrical run, and critics seemed to eat it up, seeing it as the fun, senseless thrill ride that it is. Meanwhile, audiences faltered in its overall fandom for various reasons. It's odd to see a movie so split where critics have a higher opinion, but it does happen the odd time. As for myself, despite my overall criticism, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have fun, or said I wouldn't ever watch it again. I do have a soft spot for these 8-legged creature features, and I can't really explain why. Perhaps it's because I'm not particularly arachnophobic (though they make me hesitate to visit Australia any time soon), but they are just creepy enough when monsterized that I get a creepy crawly kick out of it. If spiders do freak you out, you should know that this is no walk in the park, and you might be better off with something like 'Eight Legged Freaks'. But if you're on the lookout for a decent brain-out-the-window horror comedy, it's not a bad place to look. 3/5 Continuing Arachno-Disaster Month, I had my eyes on a completely different title for this week - 'Arachnoquake'. It's so incredibly under the radar that I couldn't find it to watch, anywhere. But then I stumbled on this hidden gem, quick as a click on YouTube, that I had surprisingly never heard of before. It became one of the 50 top-grossing films of 1975, just two spots behind 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. It's also regarded as a solid "good-bad" movie, perhaps more suited to one of my new "No-Brainer" reviews. Hell, there's even an episode of 'MST3K' on it. So it was interesting that somehow, this skittered by me. The central plot, as you can probably imagine, focuses on an invasion of spiders who ride a meteorite down to Earth's surface, landing in rural Wisconsin. The entire film uses real spiders, namely tarantulas, and they don't get really big until about half-way or more through the film. Funny story, the big, giant spider you might get to see the odd screenshot of is a Volkswagen, covered in artificial black fur. The legs were operated by seven crew members from inside by seven members of the crew. Throughout the invasion is a series of horribly-told subplots, focusing on a handful of characters. Dan Kester (Robert Easton) has a hatred for his wife, Ev (Leslie Parrish) and has an affair with a young, local barmaid named Helga. Ev has an underage sister named Terry (Diane Lee Hart), who a kid named Dave Perkins (Kevin Brodie) keeps trying to make out with through the film and it doesn't really go anywhere. Meanwhile, there's a weird preacher guy (Tain Bodkin) in this who leads revival meetings, and he's only really there to spill jargon about how if you sin you're gonna go to Hell. The takeaway is that he's meant to add an extra level of fear to the whole thing, as though the movie might as well be saying "If you sin, you're gonna get eaten up by giant spiders from another planet". I'd say this makes the film come off as preachy, if it didn't add to the overall ironic humour of the film. It's like this crazy extreme that the film goes to for no particular reason. It doesn't serve any purpose to the story - but then again "story" doesn't really compute here. I should probably also bring up the leads; Doctors Vance (Steve Brodie) and Langer (Barbara Hale), who play the appropriate romance in the story, as opposed to an adulterer, and someone trying to get into a young lady's pants. They end up being the ones to figure it all out, etc. There's nothing much to be said about it. Just about every character in this feels like either a throwaway or a stereotypical character, and none of them are very engaging. Of course, this isn't exactly a movie you wanna watch to enjoy the characters, either. This fits right into that long list of movie that are "so bad, they're good", and apparently this one has gained a significant cult following over the years, especially after 'MST3K' got hold of it and gave it their treatment. Either version is pretty easily accessible nowadays. As mentioned before, I stumbled on this on YouTube, not quite knowing what I was getting into. But within the first few minutes, I understood perfectly well that I was about to enjoy something for all the wrong reasons. I urge any fans of horrible movies to check this out when you get some time. It's pretty damn hilarious. 2/5 Imagine, if you will, the early 2000's era of film. Superhero movies were just finding their footing with equal successes and flops. They wouldn't really get huge until about 2008, when 'Dark Knight' and 'Iron Man' became paralleling benchmarks. Up until then, the big Box Office hits at the turn of the century were a mishmash of 'Star Wars', 'Lord of the Rings', whatever superheroes were doing at the time (again, finding footing) and lingering disaster movies that people were finally getting sick of (they were a big deal in the late 90s). Enter 'Eight Legged Freaks' in 2002, which pulled the same sort of thing 'Scream' did for slasher movies in the mid 90s. It said "hell, we know this type of thing is ridiculous, so let's just have some fun with it." It dug its creepy-crawly legs into the past, dug up all the ironic fun of a 60's B movie, put a modern twist on it. Titles like 'Mars Attacks' tried prior to this, but there was too much of a divide. People weren't quite ready for that goofiness yet, as disaster movies were a part of the same era. It was seen often as "trying too hard" at the time. But by 2002, this one was a breath of fresh air - something really different, but familiar enough to play on some kind of nostalgia. By the way, 'Mars Attacks' did eventually find is audience over time, but that's a whole other review waiting to happen. For now, let's take a peek into that trap door and allow the spiders to pull us in. A guy by the name of Chris McCormick (David Arquette) makes a return to his sleepy little fictional hometown of Prosperity, Arizona to reopen the gold mines that his late father left behind. Due to a toxic chemical spill, however, we get some of that old school monster movie action when the local spider population is affected, causing them to grow several times their original size. With the help of the town's Sheriff (also Chris' ex), Sam Parker (Kari Wuhrer), and her kids, Mike (Scott Tera) and Ashley (Scarlett Johansson), can they figure out how to stop these "eight legged freaks" from turning the town into an all-you-can-suck-the-guts-out-of buffet? As the film unfolds, it proves to be a pretty well-paced ride, and it does a fantastic job of really leaning on that PG-13 rating with its visuals. I don't consider myself arachnophobic at all, but I'm not ashamed to admit that it wasn't without its scenes that made me squirm. Of course, all that means is that it really did its job. It delivered a lot of good laughs, but balanced it with some pretty horrific imagery. By the way, I feel absolutely obligated to inform you that pets are not safe at all in this. If that's the kind of thing that gets to you, it might not be the best go-to. That said, their deaths are pretty well always off-screen and somewhat comical. That's coming from a guy who loves his cats dearly, so I do feel like it can all be taken with a grain of salt. Aside from the fun of it all, it's not without its place in a certain actresses history. It's actually pretty interesting to see Scarlett Johansson is in this while she hadn't quite found her big break yet. It's the last film of hers that predates 'Lost in Translation' (which arguably was her big break) by about a year. Thus, this is pretty much the last smaller role for her before she went on to bigger and better things (though one could count 'Ghost World' from 2001, but she certainly became more famous because of 'Lost in Translation'). She is still finding her acting muscles here though, so don't be shocked if she's not quite the mother from 'Jojo Rabbit' yet. As for the other roles in this, there are no real surprises from anyone. The big lead is David Arquette, playing another version of Dewey from 'Scream'; Kari Wuhrer is pretty much in her element, known for roles at the time in movies like 'Anaconda' or 'Thinner'; and Scott Terra, the other lead, probably has his most notable role here as a fairly typical nerdy kid. Otherwise he may be best recognized as young Matt Murdock in 2003's 'Daredevil'. But there's one addition to the cast I consider a guilty pleasure of a character. Doug E. Doug plays a radio announcer named Harlan Griffith, and you will either love this guy because you loved Sanka Coffee in 'Cool Runnings', or hate him because he's the irritating comedy relief. I tend to lean towards the former, as this guy has always had this effect on me. Even when he's being recognizably irritating, I can't help but laugh at what he does. He's this off the wall character here, so convinced about an alien invasion that he constantly has to be reminded that the spiders aren't aliens. On top of that, his biggest fear is getting probed. It all adds to the absurdity of it being a modern B movie, as in the 60's, those films were so often about either giant monsters or alien invasion. So, if you can make it past a few things, this one does end up on my list of recommendations to some degree. If you're severely arachnophobic, or have a very soft spot for your pets, it might be one to avoid. That said, being 2002, a lot of the CG here is still a little obvious, and in all honesty, it could be passed off as a cartoon in the way its executed - and I mean that in a good way. It makes for a great watch around Halloween when you want something creepy but fun, but remember to accept it for what it is. It doesn't take itself seriously in the slightest, and neither should anyone else. Just enjoy the ride! 4/5 Here we have a title that I remember from my childhood. It has been quite some time since I've sat to watch it, but I'm certain I was no older than maybe 10 at the time. I also would have caught it as a Disney Sunday Afternoon Movie, so it would have been edited much more, and to be perfectly frank, perhaps a bit more enjoyable. The biggest problem with it is that there's a whole wack of seemingly unnecessary musical numbers that take away from an otherwise pretty good story. It often stops just to say "look what we can do", and I often found myself thinking "can we move on, now?" But if we take away some of the music, it actually becomes a nice, light-hearted family comedy, for the most part. That said, there's still an innocence to this one that's almost too innocent, often to the point of pure sap. Some might even look at it as being a touch creepy, at times. As the film opens, we are introduced immediately to the underlying concept of the movie. A young boy named Pete (Sean Marshall) enters the scene, riding an invisible dragon named Elliot (, and running from the Gogan family (Shelly Winters, Charles Tyner, Gary Morgan, and Jeff Conaway). This cruel family claims to own Pete after having bought him to put him to work as a slave on their farm. Pete manages to elude the Gogans and their opening musical number, and hikes with Elliot to the town of Passamaquoddy, Maine. Elliot, invisible while walking through town, causes a lot of damage, and the blame is placed on Pete. The pair turn a corner to have a talk about it, but are discovered by the town's lighthouse keeper, Lampie (Mickey Rooney). His ramblings of seeing a dragon are passed off as a drunken illusion to the rest of the townsfolk. But he's in for even more of a surprise when Pete and Elliot find themselves taking shelter in a seaside cave where they are discovered by Lampie's daughter, Nora (Helen Reddy) who takes Pete in. In the meantime, every tale like this needs a villain who wants to capture the creature for his own selfish purposes. Enter Dr. Terminus (Jim Dale) and his assistant Hoagy (Red Buttons). Terminus comes to town as a snake oil salesman, and barely manages to capture the town's attention with his own musical number. Business is okay, but when he gets wind that there's a dragon in town, he sees it as a unique business opportunity to use his various "parts" for a lot of different items he could sell that have the potential to actually work. If I'm honest, there was quite a bit of material here that gave me genuine laughs. It's a comedic fantasy aimed a bit more towards kids, so when there's plenty of humor having to do with being drunk, and utilizing a lot of 'Three Stooges' style gags, it makes for a good time. This might date it a bit, depending on your perspective regarding good parenting methods. Such things include getting drunk to calm your nerves after seeing a dragon, as only Mickey Rooney can. But perhaps worse, the idea of a family trying to hunt a kid down to be a slave for them is downright scary. I have to admit that there were flash moments of camerawork here, regarding the Gogan family that I found creepy today, as a grown-ass slasher movie fan. As mentioned before, I think this one would have worked a lot better with some of those musical numbers cut down. The musical numbers push it to a solid 2 hours plus, but it's a story that could easily take place within an hour and a half. With that said, this may very well have been what they went for at the time. In 1977, this was probably a great distraction for kids who were yet to be acquainted with things like video games and computers. Today, it's still fairly passable, but there was also a remake in 2016 that may very well be better. I distinctly remember coming out of that one, and enjoying it for what it was. But after finishing this, while I had fun with it, it did prove to be a pretty sappy blend of the extreme end of innocence and the extreme end of whatever light trauma you could get away with as a Disney film. Just saying, but the remake averages an 80% on Rotten Tomatoes, between critics and audiences. This one averages 57%. But if you wanna try this one out to get a little taste of Disney Broadway-ism fo a couple of hours, it still works. 3/5 Digging far down inside the barrel of forgotten Disney films, here we have a title that may sound familiar, but has seemingly fallen by the wayside. You may very well have heard of other titles brought to us from director Norman Tokar, though. He was responsible for a good run of 'The Magical World of Disney' between '62 and '82 (this would become a part of that lineup in 1982), several episodes of 'Leave it to Beaver', and he brought us film titles like 'The Apple Dumpling Gang'. 'The Cat from Outer Space' fits in with the light charm of something like 'The Apple Dumpling Gang', and is very "family Disney" in that respect. But for the life of me, I cannot fathom why it gets such positive reviews for what it is. Upon watching it, I had a great time with it, but for the same reasons I would have a great time with 'Manos' or 'Troll 2'. The only difference, really, is that one can forgive this a little more for being an innocent family movie. There's nothing too extreme here. The "so bad its good" quality mostly comes from a lot of the visuals. It's actually, otherwise, a pretty charming (but maybe a little boring) story, but it does shock me to see that it's rated quite fairly. Of course, the story here is probably something along the lines of what you'd expect with a title like 'The Cat from Outer Space'. It's about a cat named Zunar-J-5/9 Doric-4-7 (Ronnie Schell), or "Jake" who needs to make an emergency landing on Earth. Due to circumstances beyond his control, a rescue party isn't able to be sent for him right away, so he takes fixing his ship into his own hands. He soon befriends a scientist named Frank (Ken Berry) who seems to understand how his ship's power source works, and together they set to work on repairs, taking place, in secret, within a US government facility, only accessible due to Frank's work for the government. In the meantime, an industrial spy named Stallwood (Roddy McDowall), working for a criminal mastermind known as Olympus (William Prince) soon learns of their activities, as well as a collar that can provide telekinetic powers. Soon, Frank and Jake find themselves thrust into an adventure, when their love interests become involved - Liz (Sandy Duncan) and her cat, Lucibelle. It all culminates in one of the greatest action sequences in Disney history, featuring a beat up plane, flown by Jake and Frank (mostly Jake) chasing a helicopter very slowly, and the whole sequence is dragged out but hilarious. You might find yourself hitting rewind a lot here. This isn't necessarily something I'd sit and pick away at, dubbing it one of the worst films of all time. But I will say that there's plenty here that needs to be seen to be believed. It may very well have worked okay for 1978. Not necessarily good, but passable. But to watch that older footage with today's technology in mind, it becomes pretty laughable. I honestly recommend checking it out just for a solid blend of laughs and WTF moments. I think I remember talking about this with my peers way back in elementary school, never having seen it. I think it was even said to have been good. So, I could see this having the same sort of nostalgic tie that I have with something like the 'Boogedy' films I reviewed earlier this month. But as a first-time watch now, it's worth the view for cheesey purposes only. It's fun on the level where you're laughing at how silly it is. There's not too much to the story or characters. If you want a really good family film about he same sort of subject matter, look no further than 'E.T.' If you wanna gather the family around for a good, ironic laugh, though, this is available on Disney Plus. 2/5 Okay, so this one may not be quite as swept-under-he-rug as the other titles on this list, but I always considered it to be bypassed strongly for other films that this is essentially a combination of. Namely, these include 'Mary Poppins' and, far less fictional, 'The Sound of Music'. Let's face it, those two have gotten far more publicity over the years than this. It's most definitely not without a few problems, so in comparison, 'Poppins' and 'Music' are probably the better films. But if I'm honest, I find this to be thoroughly overlooked. Most people I try to bring this up to either haven't heard of it, or have, but dismiss it as something kinda lame. But it holds 5 Oscar nominations, one of which it won for Best Visual Effects, and the reviews on it are mostly positive by audiences and critics alike. There's some dated things here I'll get to in a bit, but it still holds all of the classic magic that a Disney film from the early 70's can hold. The film takes place in 1940, England, during World War II. Gathered in an evacuation center due to Nazi bombing raids, siblings Charlie, Carrie and Paul (Ian Weighill, Cindy O'Callaghan and Roy Snart, respectively) are the last kids of a massive group to be taken in. By law, they are sent to live with Eglantine Price (Angela Lansbury), an apprentice witch trying to live her life in secret. Once the kids discover her secret without much surprise, Charlie blackmails her with the secret in order to get something in return. The result is her giving a travelling spell that only Paul can control, by way of a bedknob from the upstairs bed. When a notice that her correspondence course for witchcraft has come to a hault, she asks Paul and the others to help her by travelling to London to meet Professor Emelius Brown (David Tomlinson), the course's former headmaster. This all starts a journey to find all the right pieces to a puzzle that will allow her to use a spell to make inanimate objects move, hopefully in favor of the British war effort against the invading Nazis. As I mentioned before, sadly, there's some dated aspects to this. The big one is Mr. Brown's attitude towards women, which is extra harsh because he's an overall likable character, otherwise. But he is heard to say things like "women are always losing things" without any sort of comeback, which will be bothersome for some. My other problem with it is, ironically, the song "Portabello Road", which starts about 45 minutes in, and keeps going for the better part of 10 minutes. It takes a decent stab at multiculturalism, bringing in various ethnicities for one big dance number including Scots, Jamaicans, Indians and Australians. But it kind of leaves you questioning "why" It seems to mostly be filler, but there may very well be a whole point to it that I'm just not getting. It's bittersweet. I am happy to say that the fun of the film pretty much overshadows its problems. The adventure they go on gets pretty fun, especially when they manage to use the bed to visit the Island of Naboombu, where they blend animation with live action. Bear in mind that this predates 'Roger Rabbit' by almost 20 years, so though it looks dated now, at the time it was a pretty big deal. It's at least worth checking out if you're curious to see something 'Poppins'-like, because though it can't quite get on par with it, it's sort of like its little sister. If nothing else, you've gotta get a kick out of the way these kids talk. 3/5 I don't hear a whole lot of talk about it anymore, but back when I was a youngin', Disney had things taken over in a whole different way. Our weekday afternoons would consist of the 'Disney Afternoon' from 3:00-5:00, and then on weekends, there was 'The Magical World of Disney' (later renamed to 'The Wonderful World of Disney' for whatever reason). Often, 'Magical/Wonderful World' would play Disney's collection of theatrical releases, but much of the early stuff was material made for the show. A couple that stand out as a memory from my own childhood are 'Mr. Boogedy', which appropriately aired on 4/20 of 1986, and its sequel, 'Bride of Boogedy', about a year later. Basically, what we have here is Disney's attempt at pulling off a story about the Boogeyman. It all worked pretty well for a straight-to-TV thing at the time, but at this point I just wanna bring it to people's attention as something pretty much in the realm of "so bad it's good". 'Mr. Boogedy' introduces us to the Davis family, who are excited to be moving to the fictional Lucifer Falls, New England, which may as well be "Nilbog". Carlton (Richard Masur) is a novelty salesman who's hoping to capitalize on interested customers, being the only novelty salespeople for hundreds of miles once they move. Together with his wife, Eloise (Mimi Kennedy) and kids, Jennifer, Corwin and Aurie (Kristy Swanson, David Faustino and Benjamin Gregory, respectively) they make the move, only to find themselves in what could be a haunted house. At first, the rest of the family relates the strange goings on to the father playing practical jokes. But soon they find out there's a whole, dark history to a few ghosts who haunt this house, including Mr. Boogedy (Howard Witt) who a harbinger named Neil Witherspoon (John Astin) forewarned them about upon their arrival. I won't give away much more than that, but the history to these ghosts are dark enough that you kind of have to wonder what was going through their minds at the time. This, combined with the spectacularly bad visual effects of 80's TV and a cast of familiar actors have allowed 'Mr. Boogedy' to develop a sort of cult following in its ridiculousness. Following it up a year later was the one I remembered just a bit more (probably due to watching the hell out of it) was 'Bride of Boogedy'. Richard Masur and Mimi Kennedy return to play the roles of the parents, but the only kid to come back was David Faustino. Otherwise, Jennifer and Aurie have been replaced by Tammy Lauren and Joshua Rudoy, respectively. Since the events of the first film, the Davis family have become very well-known and respected throughout the small village of Lucifer Falls by all but one, a general store owner named Tom Lynch (Eugene Levy). He's essentially just a grump who things the gags Carlton sells are stupid. Long story short, the spirit of Mr. Boogedy comes back through the dreams of the children, and eventually possesses Carlton in an attempt to get his cloak back, which is where his power comes from. His power, by the way, seems to be shooting green, explosive or electric lights from his hands that do various things. You don't really get what it is, it's just something that poses a threat. The whole "Bride" aspect of the title comes from Boogedy looking at Eloise as his long lost love, Marion (yeah, that old story, also see 'The Mummy' and 'The Haunting'). A lot of it is similar to the first one, but it does manage to have its differences, including giving us a sort of secondary villain in Mr. Lynch. These were both released in the late 80's and since faded into obscurity. However, since Disney Plus came along, they have decided to give us both titles. They are an easy back-to-back watch, altogether adding up to about 2 hours and 15 minutes. If you're like me, and love looking for ridiculous movies that will make you laugh for all the wrong reasons, it's a solid watch. Terrible, but in all the best ways. It's all a pure, thick slice of 80's cheese, and may bring back fond, first-scare memories if you caught these on TV back in the day. 2/5 Let's take a trip back to the late 90's for a bit. 'X-Files' was all the rage, along with the idea of UFOs, aliens, and my worst fear at the time, abduction. My fear of this was so bad that I actually avoided 'X-Files' altogether, considering it just too scary for me. Fast-forward to today, however, and I personally consider these ideas kinda silly. Possible, just not really plausible. Much like hauntings, they've become something more fun to think about and hear stories about than something I truly believe in. However, back in '98, 'Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County' was aired on prime time TV, and let's just say I didn't make it all the way through due to it being far too real for me to wrap my head around. Take a second to remember the impact 'The Blair Witch Project' had on audiences in its day, often dubbed the first found footage movie (first to hit theaters, anyway). This was one year before, and aired on TV, which made it a little more real. This actually completely takes its idea from something extremely similar released in 1989 known as 'The McPherson Tape' (so yeah, IT actually came first). The only differences really being that this is much closer to the found footage acting and scenarios found today, and takes place at Thanksgiving. The McPherson Tape takes place on a little girl's birthday in 1983. They are both basically the same idea - a small group go out to a fuse box to check on a power outage, witness some aliens, and then try to make it through the night with their wits about them. It's all pretty laughable by today's standards, but back before found footage was a subgenre, this was about as real as it ever got for me. Nowadays, to recommend watching either version seems silly. The only reason to, is to say that you saw some found footage that predates 'The Blair Witch Project'. Otherwise, 'The McPherson Tape' is really just a lot of babbling, talking and noise (which, to be fair, adds an element of reality to things) and 'Incident in Lake County' just has all the tropes your average movie of this type does. The cameraman is pretty much bound to be told off for filming, there has to be an angry guy going against everything, and of course, a lot of shaky cam during intense moments. At this point, this is the baseline for any found footage film, and it's very easy to throw away. I am, however, glad that I took the time to sit through both versions of this. It's one of those fine examples of seeing how much impact a movie can have on someone for its time. Again, predating 'Blair Witch', you really didn't see this kind of thing, unless you managed to get your prying eyes on a little number called 'Cannibal Holocaust', originally released in 1980 and banned almost everywhere. It's funny what the idea of aliens did to our fear factors, especially when you watch these, which portray them a bit more as curious, seemingly harmless beings. It just goes to show that the fear of the unknown is a very powerful thing, at least until that unknown thing is revealed to be a bunch of actors in masks and black clothing. 1/5 This one taught me a little something about the 'Harry Potter' series that I had no idea about. Weird place to start, I know, but the truth is that this one starts off with mentions of Nicolas Flamel and the Philosopher's Stone. Just when I was ready to write this off as an unnecessary rip off of 'Harry Potter', I kinda figured that would have been a little too "on the nose". I Googled the name, and it finally clicked that Flamel was the only non-fictional character in the 'Potter' series. Though the idea of the Philosopher's Stone is something of a Holy Grail or Ark of the Covenant, lost in history and lore. Anyway, I guess I missed what may have been obvious to many, but it was fascinating to me that there was some element of realism in the 'Potter' series. But of course, we're not here to talk about Harry Potter and his adventures, so much as we're here to talk about an enthusiastic archaeologist named Scarlett (Perdita Weeks) who is seeking the Philosophers' Stone, herself. On her search, she finds a series of clues that lead her into the catacombs underneath Paris, France. She assembles a team consisting of her cameraman, Benji (Edwin Hodge), he former boyfriend, George (Ben Feldman), and guide who knows a few underground shortcuts named Papillon (François Civil) along with his team; his girlfriend, Souxie (Marion Lambert) and their friend Zed (Ali Marhyar). Together, they enter an area of the catacombs that is barred from the public, but soon find themselves trapped. As the film continues, more and more strange occurrences emerge, and the film pretty much acts like a spook house, wherein every twist and turn involves some kind of scary imagery. For the most part, the imagery they unveil has a lot to do with their sins in life, and eventually the group finds themselves in what is almost certainly a real Hell. The catch - the only way to get out is to keep going further down. Being that this is a found footage movie, the scariest aspect of it is probably the overall claustrophobia that sticks with you on the ride you take - especially when these guys have no way out but down, further and further. There's an uneasy sense of helplessness that comes with it, and I can say with enthusiasm that this one did the trick for me. Again, it's very much a spook house of a film, but instead of just having things jump out and say "boo", there's also a lot of unsettling imagery, and even a really cool kill or two - the car on fire stands out, particularly, but no spoilers. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. So, for found footage horror enthusiasts, I can honestly recommend this one pretty highly. I've seen much worse, and it's not quite as formulaic as one might assume. I won't spoil anything, once again, but the ending to this kinda left me in a sort of awe, and I give it credit for not following what practically every other found footage horror film tends to do. But with that said, I can also honestly point out that this one does not get very positive ratings, and admittedly, it's not without its flaws. At times, the camera action is just plain weird, and I'm not just talking about a lot of shaky-cam moments. Often, what you see being filmed doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, like one scene where our lead might as well think she's gonna die horribly, but is still carrying a camera around, getting shots of her facial expressions. On top of that, I can see this being very basic stuff for the average horror fan. There's not a lot of new here, but what I enjoyed was the execution of it. If you're looking for something creepy and claustrophobic, it's really not a bad one to check out, in my opinion. I'm have to admit, I'm very against the grain on this one. 3/5 In order for me to review this one in fairness, I feel obligated to state here that spoilers lie ahead for the first 'Creep' film, as this one branches off of the way it ends. So, if you've either seen it already, or don't care, read on. If you wanna know what happens, I highly recommend sitting through the first one rather than jumping into this one. We start off here with a young man named Dave (Karan Soni - or as most "Deadpool' fans know him, Dopinder) receiving some creepy gifts from an unknown stalker. Along comes Josef (Mark Duplass) from the previous film, who has since changed his identity to Aaron (the quintessential victim of the last movie), who kicks things off by confessing to David what's going on, and confiding in him that he feels like he's losing his artistic touch, and all the killing has lost its luster. You can imagine what happens here, but it sets the tone for the film instantly, pushing us right back into the dark sense of humor that made the first film work well. Meanwhile, a YouTube video artist named Sara (Desiree Akhavan) is feeling down on her work as well. Her fearlessness leads her to interacting with creepy men on the internet, and trying to expose them to the world in an attempt to show us that maybe there's more to them than meets the eye. Things get a little too weird for her audience, though, and she feels like she needs something more groundbreaking. She finds her next project in the form of "Aaron", a self-admitted serial killer, who wants to make a video documentary about how serial killers work. The fun of this ends up being Sara's fearlessness, and how much she's willing to sacrifice to get her story. As harsh as that sounds, it's Aaron's reactions to everything she does that really gets me. He's there to try to freak her out, but he has apparently met his match, and she often turns the tables on him, confusing him. But make no mistake, things get uncomfortable here, too. You find the thrill of it all is in guessing which one of the two of them is actually worse. You even wonder at times if she's capable of killing, herself. As the movie unfolds, much like the last one, things get more and more uneasy. And for as much as I've praised its dark sense of humor, and its execution, it does go to some dark places to make the viewer genuinely uncomfortable at times. The catch is, you kinda don't know who you should feel uncomfortable about, and speaking for myself, it did have me guessing. It had more twists and turns than the last one, and I got more out of it as a horror/thriller. But I would still probably say the first one is a bit more comedic. It makes me wonder what the upcoming 'Creep 3' will have in store to keep things fresh. 4/5 |