Top 5 - South Park Season 5

9/13/2017

Honorable Mention - Towelie

Aside from the introduction to 'South Park's biggest stoner character, this is just a good one to watch for a laugh at how one-track a kid's mind can be. It all starts after Cartman finds a used tampon in Stan's bathroom, and trying to figure out what it is, Stan's Mom comes in, mortified.

In an effort to get the boys to stop talking about it, she buys them a gaming system called the Okama Gamesphere. Of course, the boys intend on playing it as much as humanly possible. Duing gameplay, however, a really random site enters the room in the form of a walking, talking towel called "Towelie". He warns them that they need to bring a towel whenever a subject involving water is brought up, and, as mentioned before, he's a total stoner. They more or less ignore his existence, however, as they are so caught up in their gaming.

Eventually, the Okama Gamesphere is stolen from them when they reveal to a strange man that they know who Towelie is. It all leads to a very convoluted story about what Towelie is, why he was made, and the boys get caught in the middle of the government and the company that made him, Tynacorp. But the hilarious catch is that they just plain don't care. Throughout the whole episode all they wanna do is play their Gamespehere, taking no interest in the many strange things going on around them. It's a great episode for anyone who appreciates a good joke on the gamer lifestyle.

Honorable Mention - Super Best Friends

When David Blaine visits the town of South Park, he wows the masses with his street magic. This includes all four of the boys, and they soon find themselves in a cult of "Blaintologists". Soon, however, Stan leaves, as he feels increasingly more disturbed by the cult. Kyle refuses to join him on the run, though, so Stan seeks out the help of Jesus.

Jesus faces off against David Blaine with his miracle of loaves and fish, but in a hilarious twist, his magic is no match for Blaine's. He therefore calls on the help of what is evidently South Park's "Justice League", "The Super Best Friends" - a group of religious figures including Muhammed, Buddha, Moses, Joseph Smith, Krishna, Laozi and, just for giggles, "Sea Man" (essentially South Park's version of Aquaman). Together, they team up and face off against Blaine.

This episode just barely fell short of the list, only due to my personal opinions on the following episodes that did make it. I love that it plays into the whole classic superhero idea, complete with a narrator. The big joke in this one even ends up being Trey and Matt making fun of their own animation. Once in the cult, the boys get their heads shaved and are given uniforms, so they all pretty much look exactly the same. The exception being Cartman.

#05 - Kenny Dies

This episode is... weird... For whatever reason, Trey and Matt decided to kill off Kenny "once and for all". I always just took it as them running out of ways to kill him, or else just getting tired of the gag. He would eventually be brought back in 'Red Sleigh Down', and I hope that's not a spoiler, but... c'mon, that episode aired in 2002.

Anyway, this time around, it was a terminal illness that did the job. Kenny remains alive through most of the episode, but sick in bed. All the boys have a hard time with this, and it actually gets pretty dramatic. I mean, when you see Cartman crying on Kyle's shoulders about the situation, it kinda yanks the heartstrings. Cartman, himself, ends up lobbying for stem cell research after he finds out what it can do for Kenny. And this time around Stan is almost the "bad guy" because he simply can't see Kenny in such a state, even though Kenny really wants to see him before he dies. I mean, it gets pretty dark.

As one can only imagine, this all leads to a giant end-gag, but throughout the episode it's the most convinced you'll ever be that Trey Parker and Matt Stone did a dramatic episode. To me, it's probably the best gag they've done on their audience since the whole fiasco about finding out who Cartman's Dad is.

#04 - Cripple Fight

When the four boys, along with Timmy, join the Mountain Scouts, they find out their Scout Leader is Big Gay Al. As expected, the boys all enjoy themselves. The exception is Timmy, who is no longer the special handicapped person in town. This is the episode that introduces Jimmy, the handicapped comedian boy.

Upon finding out that Big Gay Al is their Scout Leader, many of the parents demand that he be ousted from the Scouts. They fear that he'll be a "negative" influence on their boys, and may turn them gay. It therefore becomes an episode less about the actual cripple fight and more about another fairly in depth look at gay rights, and the paranoia straight people have about it all. But don't get the wrong idea, there's still a fight between Timmy and Jimmy, and it's actually pretty hilarious. Not because they're handicapped, but because it's such a hardcore and dirty fight.

In a pretty hilarious eye-opener for the people watching this who can relate to the parents, while Al is fired, a man named Mr. Grazier takes over. As one may expect, he ends up being a pretty horrible person overall, but according to the parents, he's just what they need. It can be a rough episode to watch for some, but I do find it sends a good message in the end that some people need to wake up on the whole gay "issue" altogether.

#03 - Butters' Very Own Episode

For those of you who know me, it's probably no surprise that this one made my list. I freakin' love Butters! He's a lovable loser, he's always throwing his foot into his mouth, kinda naive, he's not very well liked overall, but the kids are still cool with him, hell, he just reminds me of me in a lot of ways.

In his very own episode, Butters is excited about his parents' anniversary, as they are going to Bennigan's, which is his very favorite restaurant. When his Dad leaves the house, his Mom asks him to tail his father in order to find out what he's getting her for the special occasion. However, as Butters follows him around, he naively witnesses him go into several gay establishments without realizing what he's seeing. He reports back to his Mom his findings, and she is mortified. Now unhinged, Mrs. Stotch takes Butters and attempts to drown him by driving him into a river, and locking him inside. Of course, Butters survives the ordeal, however, and takes it upon himself to head back home. The funny thing is knowing that he doesn't even realize his Mom tried killing him.

It's definitely one of the darker episodes in 'South Park', but Butters himself seem to be the balance in this. He's just this sweet, innocent, naive little boy who wants his parents to have a happy anniversary. Even though things are right in front of him, he just doesn't get it. And that's kinda what I love about Butters - he lives in his own happy world, and not a damn thing gets him down.

#02 - Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants

This was SO close to being #1, but based on pretty much one thing, it just barely fell short. But don't get me wrong, the episode is otherwise brilliant. This was right after 9/11; the original air date being November 7, 2001 - not even a full 2 months after the attacks. The people of South Park are scared, patriotism runs rampant, and gas masks were being worn for fear of anthrax. The opening few seconds alone make the episode well worth it for it's time.

The boys end up donating a dollar to four Afghani children, who in return send a goat. No one will let them keep the goat, though, and insist it gets returned to Afghanistan. However, only military is flying over there, so the boys sneak it through a military base with the cover that the goat is, in fact, Stevie Nicks. They soon find themselves caught on the flight, and end up in the middle of the war torn country only to soon get kidnapped, and come face to face with Osama himself.

Eventually, what I truly love about this episode is seen. Cartman does for Americans the same thing Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck did back in World War II - provided ballsy entertainment involving flat out making fun of Osama Bin Laden - Public Enemy #1 for the time. Getting back to why it's #2 and not #1 though is a simple matter of it officially being dated. Since then, too much has happened, including the execution of Osama himself. Its a great episode for it's time, and at the time I probably would have made it #1, but this is sixteen years later - a significant gap in time. Still though, it's one of the finer episodes of the show in it's entirety.

#01 - Scott Tenorman Must Die

Why put this one in the #1 position? Especially over the 'Osama' episode? Well, this one still withstands the test of time. It's still an episode I show people when they wanna know how dark 'South Park' can get. In that case, there really isn't much to top it, before or since.

At this point in the game, it's pretty well established that Cartman is the least liked kid in South Park. People are just sick of his attitude by now, and even though they still act as friends, they know Cartman needs his comeuppance one of these days. He pretty much gets it when an older kid named Scott Tenorman plays a prank on him involving pubes. I don't wanna say too much, but things kinda do a back and forth with Scott always outsmarting Cartman in the end. However, it turns out Cartman gets pissed off just a little too much and plots the ultimate revenge on him. And guess what, it's not killing him... I'd say it's worse... much, MUCH worse. In fact, it would be referred to from then on as one of, if not the most terrible thing Cartman ever does on the show.

What I love so much about it is that upon first seeing it, I remember actually being kinda mind-blown at just how far things went. I didn't even laugh about it, it was just plain shocking. It was there that I realized 'South Park' has set a whole new bar. It may have been there slightly beforehand, but it clicked for me here. It was almost like the episode was Trey and Matt saying "we aren't afraid to go to the darkest of places." It set the controversy level up for times to come, and pretty much officially labeled Cartman as one of the primary villains of the show. If you do decide to watch it, do so expecting the shock at the end. Even for a show like 'South Park' it's extreme.

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