Fantasy Island

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In a horror-twisted re-imagining of the 1970-80 TV drama, current horror tycoon Blumhouse really drops the ball. I don't think I necessarily minded the idea of the film, but its execution is an absolutely confusing mess. Also, taking a fan favorite that lasted 5 or 6 years and rebooting it as a horror-based prequel probably won't sit well with fans of the show. I'll tell you right now, if you were ever a fan, I wouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole.

Mr. Rourke (Michael Peña) runs a mysterious island that a group of maybe twenty-somethings (typical horror fodder) win a trip to. Apparently, upon visiting this island, you can live out a personal fantasy. Various theories are formed as to how it works including holograms, live action role playing, or even the idea of Rourke drugging their drinks with some sort of hallucinogen. One by one, the group is introduced to their "fantasy", but there's always more to the fantasy than meets the eye. Giving way to the old adage "be careful what you wish for", the film attempts to show us that we're more than our fantasies... then it ends in such a hurricane of twists and turns it kinda leaves you wondering what the hell you just watched.

Character-wise, Gwen (Maggie Q) wants the chance to say "yes" to a missed opportunity of a marriage proposal; Patrick (Austin Stowell) wants the chance to enlist in the Army, following in his father's footsteps; JD and Brax (Ryan Hansen and Jimmy O. Yang, respectively) are two step brothers who want to experience the ultimate party; and Melanie (Lucy Hale) wants a shot at revenge on her high school bully. It saddens me to say that as the movie tries to make its point, it does a pretty decent job at first. But there's a point in the film where everything starts to blend together, and as soon as paths cross, things get confusing as all hell, and it ruins the whole experience.

On top of the confusion, these characters aren't entirely likable except maybe Patrick. Gwen is somewhat likable, but a lot of the confusion of the film starts with her and up to that point, things are pretty boring. Michael Rourke shows up out of nowhere, too. It's kinda funny 'cause he has a reason for being on the island, but his role is mostly unnecessary, and the film could have easily been done without him.

Perhaps the biggest middle finger this gives to its audience is the fact that the "be careful what you wish for" lesson already lives in the original series. Many, many episodes would end with some sort of morality lesson. While this does that too, it does it to the extreme of a supernatural horror movie. That's not a terrible idea, but at the same time, if you're gonna do it, do it. There was nothing scary in this whatsoever. It wears the mask of a horror movie, but it ultimately doesn't really know what it wants to be. I keep coming back to this, but all it gave me was confusion, and I don't recommend it. Think of the ultimate lesson this is trying to teach, and you can find it better elsewhere. I didn't think it was bad at first, but that second half or so needs a serious adjustment.

​1/5

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