It might be kind of lame, but I have a tendency to keep track of this Marvel franchise as far as interests are concerned. For example - trailer that successfully got me the most hyped, 'Guardians 2', or 'Black Widow' being the only MCU movie I've missed on the big screen (thanks, Covid, ya dink). 'Eternals' here holds a personal record as well - longest I've waited to watch an MCU movie. I mean, here I am finally getting around to it two weeks after its release.
Personally, this one never really grabbed me with its trailers. It certainly doesn't help that 'Spider-Man: No Way Home' released its trailers that overshadowed this so hard that it practically disappeared. You might think because it's new, unfamiliar territory, but 'Guardians' definitely pulled me in with it's trailer, and it was the same deal. It also didn't really help that the Eternals all seemed to have some sort of ability I've seen before. For example, Ikaris is so Superman that they even have a gag about it in the movie. The basic difference is that Ikaris doesn't wear a cape.
Anyway, we open this up by getting to know who the Eternals are. In 5000 BC, ten of them are sent to Earth to exterminate the "Deviants" - an invasive species that the Eternals are meant to protect humankind from in order for them to advance. Among the Eternals are *deep breath* leader, Ajak (Salma Hayek), star of the show, Sersi (Gemma Chan), the super powerful, flight-enabled Ikaris (Richard Madden), our (sort of) comedy relief, Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani), Sprite (Lia McHugh), who looks like Peter Pan and Tinkerbell's love child, Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), a technological helper for humankind, the super speedy and deaf Makkari (Lauren Ridloff), the mind-controlling Druig (Barry Keoghan), the super strong Gilgamesh (Don Lee), and master fighter, Thena (Angelina Jolie).
Sent by a Celestial named Arishem (David Kaye), the Eternals eventually carry out their mission of elimination by the year 1521. After that, they await Arishem's return for the next 500 years, divided on what exactly their role is now, especially with humankind. They all separate over varying opinions, but we soon find Sersi and Sprite living together in London, Sersi dating a human named Dane Whitman (Kit Harington) who... well, no spoilers, but if you wanna know, hit up that Google. The trio end up getting attacked by a Deviant named Kro (Bill Skarsgård... eventually), which ultimately brings Ikaris back into play, saving the trio.
Now that Sersi, Ikaris and Sprite all know about the Deviants returning, they spend a good chunk of the movie "getting the band back together". Eventually we learn about the purpose behind the Eternals and Deviants constantly battling. This ends up dividing the Eternals even further over their differing beliefs and morals. All in all, it really does end up being a bit of a repeat of... "Thanosism?" and I think that's where the film really falters. The threat of Thanos and what he was gonna do was built up over so many movies while this provides a threat that's almost as big, and it does have to do with "thinning the numbers for the greater good".
I don't think I minded this one as much as others, seeing as it's basically the lowest rated MCU movie out there right now. But I'm not trying to be in the 1% either. I liked a lot about this, including some of the action sequences, and visuals. As a spectacle, it worked very nicely in IMAX 3D, and it provided a sort of feast for the eyes, giving us things we may not have ever thought possible. Ever wonder what Galactus SHOULD have looked like in 'Rise of the Silver Surfer' way back when? Well, doors are certainly opening up here, and things are getting way more comic book-like. There actually was something I appreciated about it. But for me, the characters and overall story were all kind of weak.
Character-wise, there wasn't really anyone here I totally got behind. I can say that I wasn't a fan of Sprite at all, but to say who I DID like is a bit beyond me. All of the good from this movie, at least for yours truly, came visually. It's a movie that makes a lot of things look really cool. But there's something so stiff about the acting here, and, as mentioned, I think the story is almost too much for a one-off movie. This felt more like something that should have been built up to. But with that said, if this AND 'Spidey' are any indication, we're probably about to get into some real superhero overload... yeah, even more than we already are. But I do feel like we're shifting from stale to fresh again.
MID-CREDIT SCENE: We, along with Eternals Thena, Makkari and Druig, are Introduced to Eros, aka "Star Fox" and Pip the Troll, who offer their services.
POST-CREDIT SCENE: Dane Whitman discovers the Ebony Blade, which hints at the Black Knight coming soon. Off-screen, we hear an unfamiliar voice ask if he's "really ready for it".
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