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Eternals

11/7/2021

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It might be kind of lame, but I have a tendency to keep track of this Marvel franchise as far as interests are concerned. For example - trailer that successfully got me the most hyped, 'Guardians 2', or 'Black Widow' being the only MCU movie I've missed on the big screen (thanks, Covid, ya dink). 'Eternals' here holds a personal record as well - longest I've waited to watch an MCU movie. I mean, here I am finally getting around to it two weeks after its release.

Personally, this one never really grabbed me with its trailers. It certainly doesn't help that 'Spider-Man: No Way Home' released its trailers that overshadowed this so hard that it practically disappeared. You might think because it's new, unfamiliar territory, but 'Guardians' definitely pulled me in with it's trailer, and it was the same deal. It also didn't really help that the Eternals all seemed to have some sort of ability I've seen before. For example, Ikaris is so Superman that they even have a gag about it in the movie. The basic difference is that Ikaris doesn't wear a cape.


Anyway, we open this up by getting to know who the Eternals are. In 5000 BC, ten of them are sent to Earth to exterminate the "Deviants" - an invasive species that the Eternals are meant to protect humankind from in order for them to advance. Among the Eternals are *deep breath* leader, Ajak (Salma Hayek), star of the show, Sersi (Gemma Chan), the super powerful, flight-enabled Ikaris (Richard Madden), our (sort of) comedy relief, Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani), Sprite (Lia McHugh), who looks like Peter Pan and Tinkerbell's love child, Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), a technological helper for humankind, the super speedy and deaf Makkari (Lauren Ridloff), the mind-controlling Druig (Barry Keoghan), the super strong Gilgamesh (Don Lee), and master fighter, Thena (Angelina Jolie).

Sent by a Celestial named Arishem (David Kaye), the Eternals eventually carry out their mission of elimination by the year 1521. After that, they await Arishem's return for the next 500 years, divided on what exactly their role is now, especially with humankind. They all separate over varying opinions, but we soon find Sersi and Sprite living together in London, Sersi dating a human named Dane Whitman (Kit Harington) who... well, no spoilers, but if you wanna know, hit up that Google. The trio end up getting attacked by a Deviant named Kro (Bill Skarsgård... eventually), which ultimately brings Ikaris back into play, saving the trio.

Now that Sersi, Ikaris and Sprite all know about the Deviants returning, they spend a good chunk of the movie "getting the band back together". Eventually we learn about the purpose behind the Eternals and Deviants constantly battling. This ends up dividing the Eternals even further over their differing beliefs and morals. All in all, it really does end up being a bit of a repeat of... "Thanosism?" and I think that's where the film really falters. The threat of Thanos and what he was gonna do was built up over so many movies while this provides a threat that's almost as big, and it does have to do with "thinning the numbers for the greater good".

I don't think I minded this one as much as others, seeing as it's basically the lowest rated MCU movie out there right now. But I'm not trying to be in the 1% either. I liked a lot about this, including some of the action sequences, and visuals. As a spectacle, it worked very nicely in IMAX 3D, and it provided a sort of feast for the eyes, giving us things we may not have ever thought possible. Ever wonder what Galactus SHOULD have looked like in 'Rise of the Silver Surfer' way back when? Well, doors are certainly opening up here, and things are getting way more comic book-like. There actually was something I appreciated about it. But for me, the characters and overall story were all kind of weak.

Character-wise, there wasn't really anyone here I totally got behind. I can say that I wasn't a fan of Sprite at all, but to say who I DID like is a bit beyond me. All of the good from this movie, at least for yours truly, came visually. It's a movie that makes a lot of things look really cool. But there's something so stiff about the acting here, and, as mentioned, I think the story is almost too much for a one-off movie. This felt more like something that should have been built up to. But with that said, if this AND 'Spidey' are any indication, we're probably about to get into some real superhero overload... yeah, even more than we already are. But I do feel like we're shifting from stale to fresh again.


MID-CREDIT SCENE: We, along with Eternals Thena, Makkari and Druig, are Introduced to Eros, aka "Star Fox" and Pip the Troll, who offer their services.
​
POST-CREDIT SCENE: 
Dane Whitman discovers the Ebony Blade, which hints at the Black Knight coming soon. Off-screen, we hear an unfamiliar voice ask if he's "really ready for it".
​


3/5

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    Character Appearances

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    Aaron Davis
    Adrian Toomes/Vulture
    Ahihiko
    Ajak
    Aldrich Killian
    Alexander Pierce
    Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian
    Algrim
    America Chavez
    Aneka
    Arishem
    Att-Lass
    Ava/Ghost
    Ayesha
    Ayo
    Baron Wolfgang Von Strucker
    Betty Brant
    Betty Ross
    Billy Maximoff
    Brandt
    Brock Rumlow/Crossbones
    Bron-Char
    Bruce Banner/Hulk
    Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel
    Cassie Lang
    Christine Palmer
    Clint Barton/Hawkeye
    Col. Chester Phillips
    Cooper Barton
    Corpsman Dey
    Corvus Glaive
    Cull Obsidian
    Dane Whitman
    Darcy Lewis
    Darren Cross/Yellowjacket
    Dave
    Death Dealer
    Dormammu
    Dr. Abraham Erskine
    Dr. Arnim Zola
    Drax
    Dr. Bill Foster
    Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard
    Dr. Hank Pym
    Dr. Nick West
    Dr. Otto Octavius/Doc Ock
    Dr. Stephen Strange
    Druig
    Dr. Wendy Lawson
    Ebony Maw
    Ego
    Eitri
    Emil Blonsky/Abomination
    Erik Killmonger
    Everett K. Ross
    Fandral
    Flash Thompson
    Flint Marko/Sandman
    Frigga
    Gamora
    General Dreykov
    Gen. Thunderbolt Ross
    Gilgamesh
    Goose
    Gorr The God Butcher
    Grandmaster
    Groot
    Happy Hogan
    Harley Keener
    Heimdall
    Heinz Kruger
    Hela
    Helmut Zemo
    Herman Schultz/Shocker
    Hogun
    Hope Van Dyne/The Wasp
    Howard Stark
    Ho Yinsen
    Ikaris
    Ivan Vanko/Whiplash
    Jackson Brice/Shocker
    James 'Bucky' Barnes/Winter Soldier
    James Rhodes/War Machine
    Jane Foster
    Janet Van Dyne/Wasp
    Jasper Sitwell
    Jenntora
    Jimmy Woo
    J. Jonah Jameson
    Johann Schmidt/Red Skull
    Justin Hammer
    Kaecilius
    Kang The Conquorer
    Kate/Agent 13
    Katy Chen
    Keller
    Kingo
    Korath
    Korg
    Kraglin
    Kro
    Kurt
    Laufey
    Laura Barton
    Lila Barton
    Limbani
    Linda
    Liz
    Loki
    Lord Krylar
    Luis
    Maggie Lang
    Makkari
    Malekith
    Mantis
    Maria Hill
    Maria Rambeau
    Master Guang Bo
    Max Dillon/Electro
    Maya Hansen
    May Parker
    M'Baku
    Melina Vostokoff
    Meredeth Quill
    Michelle/MJ
    Miek
    Minn-Erva
    M.O.D.O.K.
    Mordo
    Morgan Stark
    Nakia
    Namor
    Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow
    Nathaniel Barton
    Nebula
    Ned
    Nick Fury
    N'Jobu
    Norex
    Norman Osborn/Green Goblin
    Nova Prime
    Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger
    Odin
    Okoye
    Paxton
    Peggy Carter
    Pepper Potts
    Peter Parker/Spider Man
    Peter Parker/Spider-Man
    Peter Parker/Spider-Man 2
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    Peter Quill/Star Lord
    Phastos
    Phil Coulson
    Phineas Mason/The Tinkerer
    Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver
    President Ellis
    Prof. Erik Selvig
    Proxima Midnight
    Quaz
    Quentin Beck/Mysterio
    Ramonda
    Razor Fist
    Riri Williams/Ironheart
    Rocket Raccoon
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    Savin
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    Sersi
    Shang-Chi
    Sharon Carter
    Shuri
    Sif
    Skurge
    Soh-Larr
    Sonny Burch
    Sprite
    Stakar Ogord
    Steve Rogers/Captain America
    Supreme Intelligence
    Surtur
    Talos
    Taneleer Tivan/The Collector
    Taserface
    Taskmaster
    T'Chaka
    T'Challa/Black Panther
    Thaddeus Ross
    Thanos
    The Ancient One
    Thena
    The Other
    Thor
    Tommy Maximoff
    Tony Stark/Iron Man
    Topaz
    Trevor Slattery
    Ultron
    Ulysses Klaue
    Valentina Allegra De Fontaine
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    Veb
    Vice President Rodriguez
    Vision
    Volstagg
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    W'Kabi
    Wong
    Xialing
    Xolum
    Xu Wenwu
    Yelena Belova
    Ying Li
    Ying Nan
    Yondu
    Yon-Rogg
    Zuri

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