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From 2004 to 2010, the 'Saw' franchise kinda took things over for the Halloween season. In fact, it even became a part of their advertising campaign, suggesting "if it's Halloween, it must be 'Saw'". The franchise died with the release of 'Saw 3D - The Final Chapter', and like with most "Final Chapters" in horror, this was eventually resurrected. Before diving in here, let me make a couple of things perfectly clear. 1) I haven't actually seen any of the 'Saw' films after the third one. The main reason being, it made for a well-rounded trilogy as it stood. 2) and another reason I didn't continue, I just plain don't like "torture porn" as a horror element. It works for some, but I am more a fan of stuff that gets to your head and allows your imagination to fill in the blanks. To me, less is more. To me, "torture porn" is a cheap way to make the audience squirm. I can't deny it's kind of effective, but I guess it's just not for me. So why did I see it? Well... I kinda missed my shot with a good 'Friday the 13th' special this October. It would have been great for Halloween, and it sucks 'cause my next opportunity for that date in October isn't until 2023. So, I went another way on it and thought "Saw is synonymous with Halloween, so we'll keep it simple". Having said all that, I'll try to review this as best I can for the audience it was meant for. Well, in all honesty, what we have here is essentially what anyone would expect. There's a detective looking for what appears to be a Jigsaw copycat, and all the while a bunch of people get massacred, courtesy of jigsaw's brutal traps. Oh, and there's a big twist at the end, which is pretty cool, but that's all one can expect from a 'Saw' flick made seven years after it all ended. And that's sadly all I have to say about it. As usual, the traps are the real stars of the movie, and you don't necessarily sympathize with any of the characters. But really, are we here for that, or are we here to see people get ripped to shreds in unique and gruesome ways? As horrible as that may sound, I do think that 'Saw' is at the point (or probably past it a long time ago) where people are just looking for that special something about it. Jason was all about brutal and quick kills, Freddy was all about his one-liners and teasing his victims, Pinhead was all about torture (the original "torture porn"?), with any of these Hollywood killers, we wanna see what we wanna see. So, for that, 'Jigsaw' is no real exception. I think as long as you don't expect much more than... well... a 'Saw' movie, you won't be too bitterly disappointed. One can't set their life by 'Rotten Tomatoes', but it does show a good example here of how fans of the franchise heavily outweigh critics of the franchise, and there's just no stopping them. As it stands, critically, it has a meager 39%. The fans though, a whopping 95%! So in other words, this could probably start all over again and take over Halloween for a few more years... I kinda hope it doesn't, as Jigsaw has already made his mark, and made it well, but never say never - especially when it comes to money making horror franchises! 3/5
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 Under the Radar
To be perfectly fair, chances are that this title isn't exactly "under the radar" in every sense of the phrase. However, it does seem to be one of those movies that lacks just enough to be forgettable. In fact, this was my second time seeing it, and I can tell you already that it's sort of faded on me. There's sadly just nothing much special or different to take away from it, other than the fact that these kids are fighting off zombies using their scouting skills. Admittedly a cool idea, but perhaps too little too late? The story in question centers on our three main characters. Your average Joe lead, Ben (Tye Sheridan), your average comedy relief sidekick, Carter (Logan Miller) and your average sypathetic loser, Augie (Joey Morgan). The three are all in Scouts together, but due to the fact that they're high school sophomores, Ben and Carter (mostly Carter) discuss leaving Scouts due to their overall lack of popularity at school. But not before they see their friend, Augie, get his "Condor patch" (which I guess is some graduation badge in this version of Scouts). Before you can say "Scout's honor", however, a zombie invasion begins to unfold with them in the middle, having to use what they've learned in Scouts in order to survive. Along the way they meet Denise (Sarah Dumont), a badass cocktail waitress who can use a shotgun instead of a slingshot. Hey, every good zombie movie needs a badass! Anyway, the rest of the movie has to do with the four of them trying to get to a frat party in order to save Carter's sister, all the while trying to duck and dodge a zombie invasion. As I said before, there's not a WHOLE lot that they do new here. It's kinda like taking your average teen comedy and blending it with 'The Walking Dead'. While it remains a fun movie to sit and watch, it lacks in anything that really and truly stands out. The formula with the lead, sidekick and loser boy is reminiscent of something like '21 and Over', while the zombie stuff is about as average as it gets. Don't get me totally wrong though, there's a few funny lines of dialogue in here. But nothing was said that really got me laughing my ass off or anything like that. Mostly just odd giggles here and there. On top of that, there's not a whole hell of a lot these Scouts do that's interesting. They come into a pretty cool climactic scene using their own weapons, but things could have been a lot cooler. I mean, it's a movie about Boy Scouts fighting zombies, you'd think there was more creativity behind trap-setting and the like. Anyway, I chose to do this one for "Under the Radar" this week to illustrate an interesting point. This is the last fully mainstream zombie movie I can actually think of. It had it's wide, theatrical release, but didn't last very long at all. I'm sure there has been stuff since that I'm just not thinking of, but this was probably the last attempt at actually trying something fairly new with it. Remember, I said "trying". While it remains a not-so-bad movie, it's not-so-great either. But I wonder if it happens to be the title that really and truly starts putting nails in the coffin. 'The Walking Dead' is still going, but I daresay it doesn't have much further to go, and will be the zombie genre's "last legs" so to speak. Of course, I'm not exactly an expert on EVERY zombie movie out there, so there's always a very distinct possibility I'm wrong about all that. But with the passing of George A. Romero earlier this year, the man who arguable invented the zombie genre, I wonder; SHOULD it be put to rest? At least until it becomes popular with the next generation? 3/5  Catching Up
It may bowl some people over, but this has gone for years being one of the very few Tim Burton films that I hadn't seen before. Though I have no idea how I have avoided it for so long. Regardless of the fact that it was nominated for several awards, the subject material is right up my alley these day. 'Ed Wood' is the story about, well, Ed Wood - widely known as the worst director in cinematic history with such titles as 'Glen of Glenda', 'Bride of the Monster' and the historical 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. It has since arguably been dethroned, but 'Plan 9' was once know as the worst film of all time. Since then we've had movies like 'The Room', 'Troll 2', and 'Manos; The Hands of Fate' that, for some, hold that title over it. Anyway, it largely has to do with Ed (Johnny Depp) and his friendship with Universal horror legend, Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau). Ed seems to be the only person in Hollywood who recalls Lugosi's horror roles with such fondness. It's so rough that a lot of people just think that Bela has since died. Ed therefore chooses Lugosi to act in his films, as he needs a big name. The rest of the film covers his ups and downs within both his personal life and his career. It starts with the production of a film about a man who wants a sex change ('Glen or Glenda') and ends with his legendary 'Plan 9'. This pretty much covers the span of the 1950s, give or take a year or two. The film is pretty star-studded, including names like Sarah Jessica Parker, Bill Murray, Patricia Arquette and Jeffery Jones, not to mention a killer performance from Vincent D'Onofrio as Orson Welles. There's probably not a lot I can say about it that hasn't been said before, but the real question is "does it hold up?" The answer is an emphatic "yes!" In fact, in many respects, it might hod up now better than ever. We live in an interesting age where cult horror movies seem to be sought out by a wider audience. This movie, in particular, takes you back to a time when horror cinema was basically just goofy, what we would call a B-movie. So needless to say, it's a lot of fun to watch what went on behind the scenes for some of this stuff. I had to hand it to pretty much everyone here with their roles, namely Depp and Landau. I'm not sure how close the story gets to the truth of it all, but it's a pretty touching story to watch. I mean, imagine you're a legend of the silver screen, known as the one and only Dracula. One day everyone just kinda forgets about you, so you miss the spotlight. Then the one guy who believes in you comes along to give you another chance. The nicest thing about it was that Bela never seemed to regret these being his last films. He was just happy to be there, and be recognized. I'm glad that I finally managed to see this, and I can understand why it's held in such high regard as one of Tim Burton's best, if not his best. I'd recommend it to anyone who takes an interest in classic cinema. 5/5  Now Playing
Ah, 'The Snowman'. It has people talking about how incredibly terrible it is, how misleading the trailer is, and how much better the book is. But this isn't like comparing a 'Harry Potter' movie to it's book. It's more like comparing a trainwreck to a masterpiece. From what I understand, the book from writer Jo Nesbo IS actually pretty amazing. From what I also understand, director Tomas Alfredson has also been apologetic about the film itself, saying that 15 to 20 minutes of the film had to be cut. The film has therefore been left as a sort of messy throw-away that probably never should have seen the light of day. Our protagonist, a detective named *snicker* Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender), investigates the disappearances of someone during the first snowfall of the winter. Aand there's a guy he calls "The Snowman Killer" who I guess he fears is at large again? Aand whenever the guy kills he makes snowmen out of his victims, utilizing various body parts - an idea that ALMOST could have been cool if it didn't look so damn ridiculous. Why snowmen? Well, when the killer was a kid, his father was abusive to his mother so he ran outside to build a snowman and I guess that has something to do with it. Truth be told, this was almost impossible to follow. If you managed, seriously, congratulations 'cause I was lost ALL the way through this. Yet somehow I was still able to guess who the killer was 'cause it was pretty obvious from the get-go. Just ask yourself "who has the biggest motive to piss off Harry?" and... damn, it's easy. So, clearly I wasn't exactly on board with this either, and it's no secret I think it's a pretty terrible film overall. You may be asking "what about the other big names I saw in this? What do they do?" I'm actually still asking myself that question, and I SAW the movie. It's furthermore drenched in thriller tropes, and it's all around just boring. Any time anything actually happens, it's just so bland and uninteresting. You can pretty much just see the kills from the trailer, and that's what you've got in the movie. I also just don't get why we're supposed to give a damn about Harry. He's apparently an alcoholic, so I guess we're supposed to feel bed for him, but you don't sympathize at all. He's really kinda just... there. I'm pretty sure the Replicants from 'Blade Runner' had more personality than the guy. By the end of the movie, you're left wondering what the hell you've just watched. But I will say this... It COULD fall into the realm of "it's so bad it's good". There were quite a few moments throughout this when I gave a subtle laugh just because something seemed so ridiculous or over the top. Hell, the snowman design itself is kinda laughable. It's certainly not intimidating. It also just lacks direction, is stiffly acted, and the music selection they have for their eerie atmosphere is 'The Popcorn Song' and *sigh* some other classic work I can't recall the name of, BUT it's seen in a lot of cartoons. It's not all terrible though. There are SOME redeeming qualities to this. The cinematography, for the most part, was pretty well done. Although I have to admit that there were times the editing kinda pissed me off 'cause I didn't know what was going on. But the landscape shots and a lot of other shots taking place on bridges and mountains are really quite beautiful. Other redeeming qualities include... well, I guess nothing much other than the fact that one might be able to see this as a "so bad it's good" film. Bottom line, don't bother with it unless A) it's free, and B) you go in knowing it's gonna suck. For a film that succeeded very well in what THIS was trying to do, may I recommend 'Se7en' instead. 1/5  Screening Suggestion
Living in the realm of anthology films, 'Trick r' Treat' could easily be seen as a modernized version of 'Creepshow'. Here we have a Halloween night in a small town with four separate stories taking place, yet blending together. It's almost done in a 'Pulp Fiction' style too, in that it reverts back to moments from earlier in the movie, instead of just being one continuous story. It starts with an intro to our little anti-hero, Sam, as he makes his first kill, setting the mood of the film. The opening credits roll, featuring comic book art, again, reminiscent of 'Creepshow'. The film unfolds, and we're given our four stories with varying twists and turns, and thankfully, a lot of horror done right. As opposed to the ghastly gore and torture porn, or evil demonic spirits that plague cinema these days (although torture porn has eased up a bit), this gets back to the roots of what makes scary and creepy stuff fun. But don't fret, bloodhounds. There's plenty here, it's just done somewhat more effectively. The four stories in question involve a father and his son who have a dark secret, a group of kids investigating an urban legend, Anna Paquin and her friends looking for a man for her, and a crotchety old man with a hatred for the holiday. I have to admire that the four stories also kinda follow their own sub-horror genre. There's a comedy, a ghost story, a "what-a-twist" and essentially a slasher, where Sam comes in. Sam is someone you may have seen around on various horror merchandise as one of the new faces of horror, along with Jigsaw and... I dunno, I guess Annabelle? His whole thing is that he keeps Halloween tradition alive and essentially does away with whoever doesn't follow it. Check your candy, leave the jack o lanterns lit, be sure to hand out candy etc. He's ever present, but really brings his creepy little ass in the final story. With that said, it's practically a flip of the coin for me between this and 'Tales of Halloween'. Both have their share of goodness. However, I have to give 'Trick r' Treat' the credit of coming onto the scene and resurrecting the idea of a horror anthology; something that pretty much died with 'Tales from the Hood' (which I still don't think is that awful) back in 1995. Thanks to this, we have other movies carrying it on. A Halloween anthology is always a lot of fun with just the right amount of disturbing material attached to it. Aside from 'Creepshow', this pretty much is your quintessential Halloween-themed anthology.  Under the Radar
Here we have another anthology feature just dripping in Halloween. The film is guided by a radio DJ as she goes through a significant amount of Horror stories for Halloween night. How many is significant? How about ten stories for an hour and a half long movie? The beautiful part of it - it doesn't feel like too much at all! As much as it might sound like the film is trying to cram too much into a short time, everything seems to flow surprisingly well, with some stories overlapping others. It works like 'Trick r' Treat' in that every story takes place in the same town, but it's presented something more like 'Creepshow'. With those ten stories, there seems to be a little something here for everyone. Some of them have a good amount of dark humor to them, others are just straight up horrifying, and others are just okay. It ends up being an interesting balance. 'Sweet Tooth' and 'Grim Grinning Ghost' focus on urban legends while 'The Night Billy Raised Hell' and 'The Ransom of Rusty Rex' are more focused in comedy. 'Friday the 31st' is even a tribute to 'Friday the 13th', adding it's own dash of 'Evil Dead' gore, yet is probably one of the funniest shorts throughout the film. I could be here all day describing what each short is about, but I figure a Wiki page will save some space. This year was my second viewing of this title, and I'm happy to say that I got more out of it the second time. I think when I first saw it, I wondered if things went a little overboard here. Watching it this year though, it just kinda struck me as doing it's job. There's some pretty gruesome body horror that goes on here from time to time, but I'd like to think that the creepy-factor of things outweighs that. You're not gonna find a lot of recognizable faces here, save a few minor leaguers. Greg Grunberg might be the most easily recognized actor here. One might recall him from 'Heroes' as Matt Parkman, or more recently 'Star Wars Episode VII' as Snap Wexley. The only other face I recognized here was Madison Iseman, who can be found in the upcoming 'Jumanji 2'. Otherwise, it's a whole new group of actors and actresses, all of whom do a pretty good job with what they've got. It's no 'Creepshow' OR 'Trick r' Treat', but it's definitely up there as far as good horror/Halloween anthology films go. I also have to give this one a bit of extra credit for it's opening credit sequence; a well done animation that one by one shows you the stories you're about to see, leaving just enough for you to wonder exactly what each story is gonna be about. I think that personally, I've found something new to watch on an annual basis. 4/5  Catching Up
In my search for Halloween-themed movies that I should catch up on this month, I came across this title in a lot of lists. So, naturally, I gave it a try. After all, the corny stuff of the 80s is what I'm all about when it coms to horror both good and bad. So where does this land? It's a "meh". The story involves a group of bad acting teenagers, none of which I'm too sure were ever in anything else of significance. Of course, if I'm worng here, do feel free to correct me. There's still a lot I haven't seen. Anyway, these teens are preparing for an epic Halloween bash at the creepy, abandoned funeral parlor known as Hull House. The place is rumored to be cursed, having to do with a gruesome murder that took place on Halloween night, several years earlier. During the party, and evil force is awakened and takes possession of one of the girls. From there, it kinda shifts to zombie/vampire rules in that if you come into certain contact with anyone possessed, the demon spreads a bit like a virus. Really and truly, however, what we have here is a fairly typical zombie movie if the zombies were more demonic than just shambling masses of dead flesh. That idea aside, it did seem as though this was an attempt to combine the fiendish gore of the 'The Evil Dead' and the creepiness (and title) of 'Night of the Living Dead', an admittedly clever move for the time, keeping it it's own thing, yet giving the fans what they came looking for. The film has quite a bit going for it. There's pretty kick ass animated intro that lets you know it's meant to be a fun Halloween thrill. Besides that, the overall makeup and practical effects really do tend to shine through. One can use this as a good example of WHY practical effects are a GOOD thing for the horror genre. As a simple fun ride for the holiday, it's pretty good. There is however one thing that takes away from the whole deal, and it's pretty unfortunate. The combination of acting and dialogue is actually pretty brutal. The acting makes it look like not just a student film, but a high school student film, and the dialogue is just plain bad and dated. Like for example when the lead's little brother tells her she has "bodacious boobs"... dude... no. Anyway, there's really not much sympathy for any character in this Halloween adventure, and you kinda catch yourself just waiting for the next kill instead. It was probably on purpose, but even in the 'Friday the 13th' films I can find someone to route for (Jason, himself) but this didn't have me routing for either the teenagers to survive or for the demons to take things over. I pretty much concluded that this wasn't gonna be something I would watch every Halloween like 'Halloween', but one that I might revisit just to see if I appreciate it more over time. For the time being though, I just find it really hard to get past that acting and dialogue. But basically everything else about this fits the Halloween mood just right. 3/5  Now Playing
If I'm honest, when I set this up to be a part of the Halloween Special, it was the title I had the lowest of expectations from. The trailer just made it look like a play on the typical American slasher film with the twist that it's essentially 'Groundhog Day' with a killer. I'm actually very happy to say that it turned out to be a pleasant surprise! It starts out with our lead, Tree (Jessica Rothe) waking up in some guy named Carter's (Israel Broussard) dorm room after a night of partying. She is your typical "mean girl" as she goes about her day. She treats Carter like crap afterwards, she throws her roommate's surprise birthday cupcake in the trash, she has an affair with one of her college professors, and all the while carries that "I'm better than everyone 'cause I'm pretty" attitude. She's generally just a shitty person. Later that night, she gets murdered by some random wearing a baby mask, and she starts the day over via 'Groundhog Day' fashion with a dash of 'Edge of Tomorrow'. This happens a bunch of times, and each time ends with her death. The best anyone can come up with is that she needs to figure out who her killer is in order to break the cycle. Of course, in doing this, she keeps getting caught and murdered or otherwise just dying in some other way - like once she gets nailed by a passing by car... not sure that the killer was driving, but it seemed totally accidental. This actually gives way to a rather funny montage where her death almost becomes a joke - something relatable with 'Edge of Tomorrow'. I think perhaps the best thing about this movie is that it's not as typical as one might think. Tree (I know, the name's ridiculous) finds herself looking inside herself for a lot of it, and eventually finds that she wants to become a better person. It's almost like she's going through a personal Hell and wants to repent. I both hated her and loved her character in this. It helps that I always enjoy a story involving someone terrible who ultimately learns to become a good person. The most classic example being 'Scrooge' and a more recent example being 'The Invisible'. I have to give the film credit for not only the development of this otherwise despicable character, but for establishing a few rules. She doesn't just come back and start over like Mario would, she comes back with injuries relating to her last death. Each time, it makes her weaker and weaker which in turn gives her situation an actual stopping point, but we never know when it will be. There was one particular death here I think they really needed to do a more with upon her return, and I can almost guarantee you'll be able to point out which one it is. But the idea of there being a limit as opposed to Bill Murray's almost God-like quality in 'Groundhog Day' is certainly clever. I think the only thing that threw me off here would involve spoiling the movie, so I won't go into too much detail, but I was kinda disappointed with the ending. I won't give anything away, but it's the kind of thing that probably should have ended at a certain point, yet carried on to deliver more twists. In turn, this made my prediction of who the killer was in the end accurate, but it did tease at the idea of me being way off, which MIGHT have been better. That said, if it DID end where I wanted it to, it could have been seen as a total cop out at the same time. So that's just something one will have to judge for themselves. Overall though, I enjoyed this. It delivered some good, dark laughs, and it was reminiscent of the teen horror of the 90s like 'Scream' and 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'. It was cool that they made the killer's mask the actual school mascot mask (The Babies? Okay, sure, why not?) giving way to the mystery of who the killer is. They sell the masks on campus, so it really could be anyone. I'm not sure that this will become any sort of a regular movie for me, but it was a pleasant surprise to say the least. Oh, and it's 100% self-aware that it's doing 'Groundhog Day', as it's straight up addressed within the movie itself, so bonus points for that. 4/5  Screening Suggestions
This is one of those cases where I tend to go against the grain. If you pop over to Rotten Tomatoes to see what they have to say, you'll see a low and critical 16%. Take that however you might, but this is a title I don't think FULLY deserves the criticism it gets. Anton (Devon Sawa) is a lazy stoner teenager who spends his days on the couch, watching TV and smoking weed. He also enjoys hanging out with his two best stoner buddies, Mick (Seth Green) and Pnub (Elden Henson, who you now know as Foggy of 'Daredevil'). When a series of murders occurs close to Halloween, Anton soon discovers through accidentally killing his mother, father and two best friends, that he's been the killer the whole time. He's managed without realizing it, because his hand is actually possessed by something evil. Make no mistake, I'm not actually recommending this as a GOOD movie. I'm recommending it as something fun to watch for the Halloween season. One might wonder how I can recommend a stoner Halloween movie after my recent review of 'Halloweed'. Well, truth be told, this movie and I also have a bit of a history. This was something I first watched when I rented it back at the turn of the century, in which case I was either 17 or 18 when I first saw it. This was also right around the time I was first dipping my toes into horror. It came along as one of the first real horror comedies that I can remember watching, and admittedly helped to really form my love of the mixed genre. Nowadays, I would place it on my list of guilty pleasures, being that it's fun, but it's definitely also stupid and goofy. It strikes you as the type of movie that's simply meant to be that way though. It makes no promises of being some brilliant execution of an original concept. It takes the idea, runs with it, and laughs the whole time. It's a funhouse of a movie, nothing much more. This was also my first glimpse of the lovely Jessica Alba, who was still fairly new here. She was around, but this was arguably her breakout role, and she's pretty much been typecast as a sex symbol ever since. This isn't hard to believe considering her role here, which is admittedly pretty cringe worthy as far as her character goes - a very sexual teenager who is in skimpy clothing the entire time and has no real personality short of being able to write lyrics... I mean, ouch, but keep in mind I was 18ish when I first saw this. And me being a dude, you guys can probably figure out the rest of the reason I liked her so much. So what about that "sexism" I brought up in my 'Halloweed' review then? There's a bit of a balance here. While Alba is playing a bimbo-ish character, she can still manage to hold her own when bad things are happening. There's also a black female character in this played by Vivica A. Fox doing the role of the Demon Hunter, coming to town to try to hung this hand down - aka, the actual hero of the story who plays in the background. So, while it's nothing particularly brilliant, it's still a fun thing to watch just for the sake of Halloween. It's over the top gorey in parts, and isn't shy about making a bloody mess of things, but the comedy aspect has almost become a "so good it's bad" scenario. I'm not saying I would recommend this in the same way I would recommend something like 'Troll 2' or 'The Room'. But if you can manage to just ditch your brain for about an hour and a half of Halloween-related, mindless fun, this is a good title for that purpose.  Under the Radar
I hate to say it, 'cause usually I try to be quite fair when it comes to my reviews, but this has got to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. What could have been a fun stoner horror comedy turned out to be a perverse, badly written and desperate cry for attention. It's the kind of movie that tries to rely on shock value to draw it's audience in, but it all just comes across as horrible. Basically, the movie centers on two stoner half-brothers, Joey (Simon Rex - of the BAD 'Scary Movie' films) and Trent (Shannon Brown - some bike messenger from 'Friends'). They share the same mother, but Trent's father (Tom Sizemore!? WTF, man, seriously?) turns out to be a serial killer, sentenced to death. Afterward, Trent decides he needs to move away to a little town called Mooseheart. Trent falls in love with a badly written female character there while Joey gets a gig selling weed through Danny Trejo, and with the help of Jason Mewes - the only two known names through the movie. Eventually (almost an hour into the hour and forty minute film), killings begin to happen in the small town, involving some guy dressed in a baby costume who somehow manages to giggle just like a real baby. I guess it's supposed to be creepy, but my mind can't land on "creepy" when I'm too busy questioning how the hell he's doing that. At least in 'Scream', you see the reveal of the voice-changer. Here, we don't get shit. But, that's not even the worst of it... (Tom Sizemore?) There's all these undertones of sexism and racism throughout the movie as well. Take the two black cops who get told by the mayor's son that he "owned them", and they do nothing but get walked all over. Or at the father's execution, there's a bimbo in the back getting off to his very presence, a true WTF moment. I had to wonder if I was watching a dream sequence. They threw... *sigh*... Tom Sizemore in here for a brief cameo in which he plays the most unpleasant of characters. Just a dirty old pervert who's getting off to a photo of what I assume to be one of his victims. That's bad enough, but they really just let him do that? I mean, I know he's gonna be executed but... was this supposed to be our assurance he was gonna end up in Hell or something? These brief cameos continue with Trejo (who just does what he does, and I admire him for that, so we're gonna leave his ass the hell alone) and Mewes (just playing a dumber version of Jay - and I HATE saying that 'cause I'm a Jay & Silent Bob fan!) In looking for a place to live, the two main characters find some dirty old man, renting for cheap. His name is Lloyd, and he's played by Robert Craighead. The character seems to relish in being this dirty old man, and we see him just be perverted toward little girls and apparently it's supposed to be funny. I mean, there's raunchy comedy, and then there's that. A good raunchy comedy will have some sort of underlying message by the end. Taking 'Superbad' as an example, it shows us Seth seemingly jumping through hoops to get himself laid. But at the end, he recognizes that he was a jerk, letting her know that he understood she didn't deserve it. This was just... "look at my penis" - the end. And again, apparently this was the comedy aspect. Aside from everything else, the most important thing here is probably the title. If you read a title that just says 'Halloweed', I think it's fair to assume that it's a stoner Halloween movie... y'know... with Halloween IN it! The most we really get is that there's a killer that shows up maybe 3 times AFTER the first hour, and you can tell it takes place in the Fall, nearing the Holiday. I don't think the movie understood what it was trying to do at all, and it turned out to be a pretty hot mess on boredom, tasteless humor, and punchlines that not only fall flat, but go through the floor. In all honesty, I didn't wanna continue after the opening scene, but I somehow managed to muster up the curiosity to see how bad this got. And, well.... we have a history-maker here, ladies and gentlemen. With 0, count 'em 0 redeeming qualities (not even Trejo could save it, but like I say, he's just doin' his thing) we have our very first flat out, straight up: 1/5 |
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