Jason X (2001)

<<

Friday the 13th Reviews

>>

Before a lot of us horror fans were having the debate as to who was gonna win in the big showdown of 'Freddy vs. Jason,' a bunch of us were ignorant to the answer of the victor sitting right in front of us with 'Jason X' portraying Jason alive and well in our near future. But that may also go to show how incredibly forgettable this was for its time as well. Truth be told, I still remember seeing trailers for this on the big screen, having it just make me angry and thinking, "That looks ridiculous... WHERE is 'Freddy vs. Jason'!?"

I held an instant grudge against this movie because New Line could create a more than ridiculous story that puts our favourite killer outdoorsman into a completely science-fiction world, but the 'Freddy vs. Jason' movie the die-hard fans wanted was still somewhere on that back burner of theirs. It becomes the survival horror rip-off of any 'Alien' movie, making Jason the Alien and consists of a bunch of terrible dialogue that includes bad one-liners that are trying way too hard. It's still no 'Jason Goes to Hell', but I might be flipping a coin between this and 'Jason Takes Manhattan' as the second-worst of the bunch.

Captured in an alternative version of 2010 by the Crystal Lake Research facility, Jason (Kane Hodder) is held with the hopes of finding out what gives him his regenerative powers and hopefully using what they can find to advance their medical technology, which, we soon find out, they certainly do not need in any way shape or form, as nanotechnology when it comes to healing is already seemingly at its peak. Things kick off with Jason's immediate escape from his shackles, adding to his body count, and eventually getting shoved into a cryogenic tube and frozen along with would-be victim Rowan (Lexa Doig).

We then fast-forward to 2455, where Earth has become completely uninhabitable, forcing any survivors to flee to "Earth Two" (very creative), where students can learn about "Earth One" by taking field trips there. On one such trip, Professor Lowe (Jonathan Potts), a handful of students, and an android named Kay-Em 14 (Lisa Ryder) discover Jason and Rowan in their frozen states, and while Rowan shows clear life signs, Jason seems to be dead. The group brings them both aboard their ship, "The Grendel" to study. And, as any Jason fan knows by the tenth film, Jason isn't really dead; the killing soon ensues, and we get more of the same.

It all brings to mind the old adage, "Space is where Horror goes to Die". By this point, 'Hellraiser', 'Leprechaun' and even 'Critters' all did it, and the results were always generally the same poor results. This is no exception; it's Jason on a spaceship, doing his thing, and his biggest competition is Kay-Em. To fight Jason, Kay-Em is given what the movie calls an "Upload" in its dialogue, providing us with one of the worst lines in 'Friday the 13th' history! What's worse? The tagline for this movie was "Evil Gets an Upgrade." It's not like they didn't know the word "Upgrade" existed and its context.

For as much as I can sit here and tear this movie apart, however, like any of Jason's features, there's always some sort of redeeming quality to them. I would argue that this one is about the stylistic kills. There's at least a bit of originality behind a few of them, including one I may very well consider my favourite 'Friday' kill of all time, which is saying a lot considering how much I otherwise dislike this movie. Most of my problems have to do with bad dialogue here, but like most people who weren't into it, I've also got to mention that the whole thing feels absolutely unnecessary, and I can't imagine whoever asked for it to happen.

It really is a strange go-to for the filmmakers when you think about it, considering 'Jason Goes to Hell' was a whole seven years prior, and other than the possibility of 'Freddy vs. Jason' still coming along, no one really talked about the slasher horror of the 80s. It had died out, and the popular horror of the time was teen horror like 'Scream' and 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'. It comes across as a title that was cranked out just for New Line to hold on tight to Jason's name for near-future projects. But I am super happy to announce that, at least as far as I'm concerned, the franchise would not leave Jason hanging with a terribly received tenth chapter, as little did we know, the one we were all asking for was still right around the corner.

2/5

---