Christmas With the Kranks

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Christmas 2017

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I never was very willing to give this movie a shot after everything I've heard about it. However, my decision to chance it was based on the sole reason that I haven't watched it for myself. After all, there are plenty of movies out there I like that others dislike. Maybe there was more to this than I thought. Of course, I was wrong and probably should have just avoided it as usual. Now, I'm gonna try not to sound too harsh 'cause I don't enjoy being "that guy", but man, oh man, I did not enjoy myself with this title.

The story here centers on Luthor and Nora Krank (Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis, respectively). After figuring out that they spent WAY TOO MUCH on their Christmas last year, they decide to skip the holiday this year and go on a vacation for half of what they spent. However, the whole idea of them skipping Christmas seems to piss everyone they know off, and they never hear the end of it. This genuinely bothered me because it made it seem like skipping Christmas was the equivalent of something like being the neighborhood pervert. Why the hell did everyone take such issue with this? You're telling me no one has ever taken a vacation over Christmas before? Maybe it was how they wanted to do things that year. I can understand it maybe hurting a few feelings, but it doesn't warrant the behavior I saw here. Imagine someone coming to your house. You don't have your Christmas tree up, and they criticize your choice of decor 'cause it's not Christmassy enough. That's basically what you're getting here.

But it gets better (or is it worse?). The daughter, Blaire (Julie Gonzalo) calls them to tell them she's coming home with her new boyfriend for Christmas. Nora flips the script immediately, and the two, along with the neighborhood, work to set Christmas up for Blaire's arrival. This does connect to the way the movie ends, but it's terribly predictable as soon as you see the route things start to take. Tim Allen is playing a selfish guy with vacation tickets and needs to learn a Christmas lesson. Meanwhile there's a neighbor who's sick. It's too easy to figure out too soon.

By the end of everything, it didn't leave me feeling anything in particular. Just kind of numb. It didn't piss me off, I wasn't enchanted. The movie was just kinda "there". It felt like some kind of substandard Christmas comedy you'd find on the straight-to-DVD shelf, or even a bargain bin.

I do know people who enjoy this movie, so I'm not gonna try to step on anyone's toes with my opinion. But I just genuinely hope these people realize that there are FAR better Christmas titles to choose from. This is easily one of the weakest Christmas movies I've seen to date. This won't be added to any kind of traditional Christmas watch-list for yours truly.

1/5

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