Christmas Break-In

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Christmas 2019

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Just when it looked like these Christmas movies were on the up and up, they must plummet for yet another negative one. But trust me when I say I feel that most of the people out there would agree with a lot of what I have to say about it.

In this particular case, we have a gigantic 'Home Alone' rip-off that features criminals that make Harry and Marv look like Stephen Hawking and Neil deGrasse Tyson. The kid, in question, is a girl named Izzy (Cameron Seely). Imagine a nine-year-old girl trying to do her best Kevin McCallister impression, but doing it "wrong". At least that was my takeaway, because this is trying so hard to be 'Home Alone', it's ridiculous.

This is a made-for-TV movie, released January of this year... just in time for Christmas. It starts out with Izzy reminding her parents (Mother played by Denise Richards, Father played by Sean O'Bryan) about taking her after school to get a guitar, during a special sale. The parents forget to pick her up after school, for apparently the umpteenth time, and it's during a bad snow storm, making things more difficult.

Meanwhile, three crooks (Katrina Begin, Douglas Spain, and Jake Van Wagoner) who have recently robbed a Salvation Army store head to the school to lay low, believing it to be abandoned and... yeah, it's 'Home Alone' in a school. The criminals end up holding the school's janitor, and Izzy's family's friend, Ray (Danny Glover, making me thank God 'Lethal Weapon' is next on this review list) captive while Izzy goes around doing really weak trap stuff that make 'Home Alone's traps look like Kevin's playing a game of 'Saw'.

The parents do end up figuring things out, except for the fact that they're terrible parents, and do manage to start making their way back to her. But their entire purpose in this is to be the terrible prat fall parents. Dad gets injured, Mom screams, it's supposed to be funny but we just roll our eyes at it. It's painful to watch, but not in the god 'Home Alone' way.

Speaking of which, as a 'Home Alone' wannabe, I mean that to such an extent that even the music in some parts and pretty well copy and paste with a few note adjustments. Believe me, if you're a 'Home Alone' fan, you will notice it as soon as it happens. It's THAT close. Besides that, some of the dialogue is spot on as well, like Denise Richards screaming "We did it again!" (famous lines from, 'Home Alone 2' anyone?) or Izzy realizing that she's alone, with that repeat line, the original being "I made my family disappear? I made my family disappear!"

It's almost worth checking out (currently available on Netflix) just to see how bad it actually is. Almost! But really and truly, it's pretty well a waste of time altogether. Even for a made for TV film, it's just a bit too much. I dunno if they thought they needed a 'Home Alone' for a new generation or something, but if that's the case, it's pointless. 'Home Alone' is a timeless classic. This, even if you do watch it, will be forgotten about in seconds as you toss it aside as nothing more than a copycat that pulls things back embarrassingly significantly.

​1/5 

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