 To put a cap on this Schwarzenegger-themed Month, I figured I'd end things on a light note. Any real fan of Arnold will tell you that the man has a sense of humor about himself, and can be the epitome of a "gentle giant". This is a movie that shows it in a way that balances his action hero side with his sensitive side almost perfectly. This one's also directed by Ivan Reitman; director of my all-time favorite film, 'Ghostbusters', so I may have a slight bias leaning towards it. But at the same time, I just can't do a Schwarzenegger month without covering a bit of comedy. This film is proof that the man can be hilarious if given the chance.
As the movie opens, we're introduced to Detective John Kimble (Schwarzenegger), chasing a drug dealer he's been tracking for years, Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson). Kimble makes a successful arrest for murder after a witness, Cindy (Alix Koromzay) sees him kill an informant after gaining information on his ex-wife, Rachel's (Penelope Ann Miller) whereabouts. She evidently left him ages ago, taking with her a large sum of money as well as their son. Partnered with an ex-teacher, Phoebe (Pamela Reed), Kimble goes undercover in Astoria, Oregon. The job is to find Rachel and offer her immunity in exchange for testifying against Crisp in court, thus finally closing the case on him. Phoebe is to act as a kindergarten teacher for Astoria Elementary, and try to locate Rachel as well as Crisp's son. Without the names to go by, with the mother and son being in hiding, it could already be difficult. But things are almost immediately made worse by Phoebe getting sick, and Kimble having to take her place as the kindergarten teacher. Hilarity ensues as the big, tough guy is overwhelmed by the mouths, attitudes and hyperactivity of these 5-6-year-old kids. He can't even swap-out with Phoebe when she gets better, as it'll blow his cover. On top of all that, authorities let Crisp go too soon, and he heads straight for the location of his son in hopes to reunite with him via custodial kidnapping (which, by the way, does not mean "stealing a janitor"). While Schwarzenegger is best-known for being an action-hero, or even THE action hero, this is a good way of showing that he can be flexible for light-hearted stuff the whole family can watch. He has done other comedies like 'Twins', 'Junior' and 'Jingle All the Way', but I'd strongly consider this his quintessential comedy role. The plot sounds pretty dark, but this carries with it so many great Arnold moments when it comes to his interactions with these kids. One of the funniest images of Schwarzenegger I can think of is when he's dressed up as a country farmer singing 'Old MacDonald had a farm', using a ukulele. But this also has such great Arnold-one-liners as "I'm the party pooper.", "There is no bathroom!", and of course "It's not a tumor!" Even after all these years, this is a great, light-hearted, feel-good flick with just the right amount of dark plotline. It really delivers the laughs and the naive innocence of all these kids, but at the same time delivers a typical Schwarzenegger action movie in its background, which all comes to a head during an admittedly pretty intense climax. This was pretty much the start of the "tough guy with kids" subgenre, followed up with films like 'The Nanny', 'The Pacifier', 'The Spy Next Door' and the very recent 'My Spy'. It's safe to say that just about all of those titles took influence from this movie, and out of all of them, this still remains an untouched classic of sorts. It's just the right balance of light and dark, and it makes sure to teach kids who are watching a thing or two about "stranger danger". On a final note, I'd like to point out that this time around I kept a sharp eye on the kids and their behavior in the background, and I have to say it's worth re-watching to pick up on a few reactions and such. For example, the scene where he yells "SHUT UP!" and makes them all cry (it's funnier than it sounds, trust me) there's a girl by the classroom sink who must not have known how to fake cry, so she makes a "Duh!" face (as in someone saying "duh" sarcastically). That's just one example, but keep your eyes open, a lot of it is pretty funny. Either way, it deserves a re-watch for Schwarzenegger fans who just need a bit of cheering up from time to time.
0 Comments
 In one of the manliest of mannish films, we have the action hero's take on a creature feature. What calls for popcorn more than that of a mysterious alien from a distant planet who comes to Earth to hunt, only to go toe to toe with our favorite action star? This is a prime example of the subgenre that is action horror with a sci-fi twist. To this day, in my humble opinion, it stands as the second best "Alien/Predator" movie in existence ('Aliens' being in my top spot), if only because the plot of it is so simple, and it delivers exactly what we want. Maybe it's just me, but I'd say it's almost a perfect action movie.
Army Special Ops soldier and Vietnam Veteran, "Dutch" (Schwarzenegger) and an elite rescue team are given a quick in-and-out mission by Dutch's former commanding officer, General Philips. Among the team are Mac (Bill Duke), an expert tracker named Billy (Sonny Landham), the testosterone-fueled Blain (Jesse Ventura), Poncho (Richard Chaves) and the company's resident jokester, Hawkins (Shane Black). With them, comes CIA officer Dillon (Carl Weathers) - an old friend of Dutch's. As the mission gets underway, the team finds such strange things as three skinned corpses with no sign of approach from any side. After carrying out their mission, and without getting into too much spoiler territory, the team comes across a surviving guerrilla named Anna (Elpidia Carrillo). She's shaken up, and claims things like the forest coming alive to kill people. As they head to their extraction point, they soon they realize they are going up against something that poses a much bigger threat than they signed up for; something that hunts them from the trees using heat vision and the ability to become transparent with its camouflage. As one can imagine, things go pretty much how you'd expect with a look of pretty violent kills in the process. Predictable however it may be at this point, however, it all leads to one of the greatest showdowns in cinematic history. By now, we're all pretty familiar with the Predator. He's become a pop culture icon who sits alongside the Alien. He's the Jason Voorhees to Alien's Freddy Krueger. But this was back in a time before anyone understood what the Predator was, and Schwarzenegger was the real draw. At the time of its release, it looked like it was gonna be another 'Commando', and though the trailer offers brief glimpses of what the Predator looked like, it just wasn't the main focus. Here we have what one might call "dude porn" - a cast of "manly" men doing "manly" things like violence and mayhem and killing. It really delivers on that aspect right down to making the Predator itself throw down his arms just to have a one-on-one fight with Schwarzenegger. It was a unique way to have the world's strongest man meet his match in brawn for once. A line here and there is perhaps a bit dated, but honestly, not enough to ruin things. This is still one of the best action movies ever made, as far as I'm concerned. I have seen it a bunch of times, and I'm still just as entertained by it as ever. It carries some special effects with it that still look great by today's standards, and further go to show that CG doesn't necessarily have things on the same level as practical effects. This one was even nominated for an Oscar for these effects, losing to 'Innerspace', and at the time, it was only between those two films. However, as far as I can see, 'Predator' still stands as a sort of landmark in the action genre, and it introduced a character who would live on for decades. I could watch this movie in my 90s and still think it's great, no holds barred entertainment.  Although this month takes a look at some of the titles I personally consider "essential Schwarzenegger" titles, I do heavily consider this particular title to be the one and only king of them. I would say 'True Lies' is my favorite, but if you want full Arnold, this is definitely the place to go. To put it another way, I'm fairly convinced this was the movie that really inspired the Rainier Wolfcastle character on 'The Simpsons'. Yes, he was obviously based on Arnold, but I think it's this particular Arnold they were going for.
For a quick plot synopsis, we open the film, and are eventually introduced to former Colonel John Matrix (Schwarzenegger). He is living a happy, retired life with his daughter, Jenny (Alyssa Milano). It's interrupted quickly, however, when his former superior Major General Franklin Kirby (James Olson) informs him that the members of his former unit have been killed by unknown mercenaries. Said mercs raid John's home and kidnap Jenny, lead by Bennett (Vernon Wells); an ex-member of John's team that was discharged for excessive violence. John is eventually overpowered and captured, but this ends up being a big mistake. With his daughter's life on the line, John Matrix eventually manages to escape, and enlist the help of random off-duty flight attendant named Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong). Now John will stop at nothing to rescue his daughter, and put an end to Bennett and his henchmen. So basically what we have here is a no holds barred revenge plot involving the biggest action hero of the 80s in his prime. If someone was to ask me who Schwarzenegger is, I would tell them watch 'Commando', as I find it to be the quintessential Schwarzenegger movie. If we think of him in a stereotypical light, I'd say this is the role that really shows it. He's muscle-bound, powerful, full of guns and ammo, shoots but never gets shot, he's got the accent, and above all else, some of the best one-liners of his career. That alone is what makes this movie so damn fun. it's not just a stereotype of an Arnie flick, it's a stereotype of an early action movie. It's got to be within the top 10, or maybe even top 5 action flicks of the 80s, and with good reason. This isn't something that keeps you on the edge of your seat so much as it makes you laugh along with it as well as cheer him on. It's cheesy, but it's what 80s action movies were all about. It would be fairly easy for someone to be new to this today and find that it hasn't aged well - but one should also know that's what makes it so good. In many ways, it captures the cheesy awesomeness that was 1980s action. Things were off the wall and dammit, we liked it like that. These are the same reasons I appreciate franchises like 'Fast & Furious' nowadays - yes, it's ridiculous, but sometimes reality isn't really asked for in these types of flicks. There's insulting the audience, but then there's just having fun with them, and that's what this does so incredibly well. It's an era of filmmaking I think a lot of us miss. They can get away with it now, sure, but it's not quite as tolerated as it used to be. This kind of thing, along with a lot of the corny 80s slashers, was just something to lose our minds and eat popcorn to. Well, it's a short review, but there's not much more to say about it than what I keep saying about it already. It's just awesome, mindless fun, and a good laugh. If you're on the lookout for almost definitive films of the 80s, I would highly recommend this title as a place to turn. It is pure Schwarzenegger through and through, and the man might as well have been a golden statue back in the 80s representing the action genre. If that statue had to hold the film that best represented him, this would be my pick.  When we look at Schwarzenegger nowadays, I daresay, we may see him as perhaps a bit of a has-been for film, especially considering he has reached the age of 73 and simply isn't in his prime. Having said that, one can't deny the legacy he's left behind, helping form the modern action movie, and becoming THE name in 80s and early 90s action. I strongly consider him to be the name who made action movies much more fun than serious. Arnold gave us a big brute to route for with an unforgettable accent, and this month we're here to celebrate some of his best titles that I, surprisingly, haven't even looked at yet. We start with 'The Terminator'.
I think by now, most know the general story here, but just in case, a short plot synopsis: We go way back to 1984 (before continuity of the series suffering could possibly be a thing) where a Terminator (Schwarzenegger - a cyborg assassin carrying out orders) arrives from 2029, and we see how violent he is right away in how he steels clothes and guns. A human soldier arrives as well, but we don't really know why either of them are here until the Terminator starts to seek out and kill anyone with the name Sarah Connor in the area. We soon meet the Sarah Connor he's after (Linda Hamilton), and learn that the human soldier, Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) was sent to protect her from this Terminator by her own future son, John (here played by no one). John is, of course, the man who leads the uprising against the machines in the future who try to destroy the human race. If the Terminator is successful in his mission to kill John's mother, that will eliminate John's existence, and the machines will take the planet with no problem. It's up to Kyle to protect her now, but it's also up to her to rise to the occasion - and if you've seen 'Terminator 2', you know she figures out how to go from innocent to badass in a short amount of time. Of course, with any time travel movie there's a bit of a paradox to think about, but don't rack your brain too hard. This is 1984, and the film is among the most famous titles of the decade with good reason. It's interesting to recall that this was often seen as a horror movie, considering it plays with elements like blood, gore, fear, and even boiling it right down to an unstoppable killing machine no dissimilar to Jason Voorhees (who just had his apparent "Final Chapter" earlier that year). Hell, it was even released a few days before Halloween. They play around with a lot of cringe-worthy practical effects here, and while a lot of it looks pretty rough by today's standards, it still makes once wince. For example at one point the Terminator is fixing himself up and takes out his eye with an Exacto knife. But much like with a movie like 'Poltergeist', you sort of toss that off to the side because you're enjoying the rest of the movie too much. Maybe it even adds to what makes it fun. I think the big problem here now is that, when going back to watch this, you have to do a bit of rearranging in your head. Somewhere along the line, the whole story gets skewed, and timelines get confusing, but all you really need to know about the 'Terminator' movies is that you sincerely only need the first two. Yes, the second one ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, but it leaves you deep in thought and, once again, doesn't feel the need to spoon-feed its audience. I appreciate having to use my imagination, and even this one ends in a similar way. Anything beyond is hit or miss (mostly miss) and is generally the same formula time and time again (except for 'Salvation' which at least had the balls to change it up a bit). So, if you're looking to see some of the legendary films that helped make the 80s what they were, this is a very good place to look - especially if you're any sort of 'Terminator' fan and haven't actually watched it yet. Some of the effects are a bit dated and don't quite hold up, but one must bear in mind that we weren't quite there with CG yet in 1984, AND its follow-up would really help usher in the CG era. All in all, 'T2' is certainly the better movie, but no one can really deny this movie's place in the history books either. I generally compare the 'Terminator' series to the 'Alien' series in terms of quality by chapter - first one is classic, but the second is amazing, and anything beyond is either just okay or bad. It might not quite have the punch it used to, but it's still an essential watch for Schwarzenegger AND 'Terminator' fans, in my humble opinion. |
Categories
All
Archives
September 2022
|
RSS Feed