 When it came to this franchise and its theatrical releases, this was (and still is) the only one of them I've missed on the big screen, and this review is based on a first-time viewing of it, seven years after its initial release. So before I get into this particular review, I'm gonna do a bit of a recap on things, not so much as far as plot goes. Essentially, it's pretty much always Autobots (good) vs Decepticons (bad) with humans in the crossfire, and both sides are after something of immense power, and potential to build and/or destroy to some degree.
Up to this point, we've had four of them. The first, I enjoy as a sort of nostalgic trip to my childhood, and for the time, an incredible special effects masterpiece. The second and fourth were probably my least favourite, if only due to the human element bickering and whining way too much. The third - we'll call it a guilty pleasure. The fight between Optimus and Sentinel was pretty epic... even if the autobots were ridiculously late to the fight! Now, here we are at movie #5, and this could very well take the cake for being the worst of the bunch. It has been mentioned at this point in previous 'Transformers' reviews that it irks me how these movies rewrite history, and this must be the biggest culprit of such things. It all starts with the audience questioning if they're at the right film, as it involves Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table battling the Saxons. Merlin (Stanley Tucci) asks the Knights of Iacon; a group of knight-like Tansfomrers, and he's given a staff, which is also... I mean, do I even have to say it at this point? McGuffin, McGuffin, McGuffin! Merlin is made to hide the staff, for it will one day be needed again, and we can pretty much cut to the chase on how all that unfolds at this point. The human element brings back Cade (Mark Wahlberg), who helps refugee Transformers, who have been deemed enemies of Earth because they level entire cities in every movie. Lennox (Josh Duhamel) is also back as the "good cop" working for the TRF (Transformers Reaction Force), and we even get a little Seymour Simmons (John Turturro). Now that the fans are satisfied, lets get to the new cast. First up, a rebellious young lady named Izabella (Isabela Merced) who's also a friend to the Autobots. Next, an accomplished scholar and obvious love-interest for Cade, Vivian Wembly (Laura Haddock). But by far the best character in the movie, and the only reason I got any real entertainment out of it is Sir Edmund Burton (Anthony Hopkins). He's spent his life dedicated to research on the Order of the Witwiccans; a secret society who has worked with Tranformers throughout history, and this is also where I get, as I've said, "irked." BUT Anothony Hopkins is hilarious in this. He's just having so much fun the whole time. As for our robots in disguise, Optimus (Peter Cullen) has headed back to Cybertron to face his "creator", stemming from the previous film, and comes across a strange Cybertronian being named Quintessa (Gemma Chan) who alters his conscience into Nemesis Prime, who becomes a sort of ultimate weapon. Decepticons try to open a gateway to let something terrible through, Autobots are generally hiding on Earth, and remember Galvatron from the previous film? They just threw him away, and brought Megatron (Frank Welker) back instead. So, I really must apologize if this review has been a bit of a mess, but to be honest, so is the film. If it wasn't for Anthony Hopkins treating his role like a ride at a carnival, I wouldn't see much entertainment in this at all - especially with such a busy, busy looking climax and ending. They've played with the lore a bit too much at this point, as well, and this movie is so damn busy and convoluted with everything going on (at least to me), it feels like we might need a bit of a breather... thankfully, that's precisely what the next film (and my personal fave of the bunch) provides. 1/5
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 Back when this was released, I think I was somewhat blinded by its criticisms, and largely went along with tearing it apart on how "bad" it was. But after this re-watch, I have concluded a couple of things having to do with how my taste has shaped itself over the years. For starters, I'm gonna come right out and say that to some degree, this is still bad, and there's still a few things that bug me about it. But if you wanna throw your brain away for a couple of hours and watch some robots beating the crap out of other robots... there's quite a lot of it!
This film wraps up the Transformers' time with Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), so I'll try to bring things together enough to make any sort of sense. But it all starts with an escape ship from the Transformers' home planet of Cybertron called "The Ark," carrying more MacGuffins that could help end the Cybertronic war, one way or another. First there was the "Cube" (or AllSpark), then there was the "Matrix of Leadership," and now we're dealing with "Pillars," which have the ability to teleport matter between two points via wormhole, creating what is referred to here as a "Space Bridge." Said pillars are located on our moon, in the crashed Ark, along with Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nemoy), the former leader of the Autobots. Through a battle with a Decepticon named Shockwave (Frank Welker), Optimus (Peter Cullen) learns of the Ark, and travels to the Moon with a select crew to check it out, only to find his old leader in a sort of comatose state. Optimus takes Sentinel back to Earth, and resurrects him using the Matrix of Leadership. A solid move, considering Decepticons, led by Megatron (Hugo Weaving) and his right hand, Starscream (Charlie Adler) are becoming quite the nuisance on Earth lately, murdering any humans who may know about the Ark. As far as Sam goes, he's living his new life with his new girlfriend, Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), because Megan Fox had her reasons not to return to the franchise. Unfortunately, he's made to live a more humble life, looking for a regular job, as he's not allowed to work with the Autobots anymore because... I can't remember if that's explained, but I guess for his safety? Either way, we all know he'll end up working with them in the end, anyway, otherwise we don't have much of a movie. I have failed terribly at mentioning this character in the past two reviews, but as Sam and Carly predictably end up helping out the Autobots, they also enlist the help of enemy-turned-friend, Seymour Simmons (John Turturro), who's a pretty damn fun character throughout these movies, ultimately going from a cocky agent-type to a conspiracy theorist who is generally right about everything. Of course, we also get help from our favourite soldiers who aren't Transformers; Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Epps (Tyrese Gibson). As vague as all of that seems, that really is about all there is to this (or almost any) of these movies. Two sides of the same coin; good vs evil seek out MacGuffin to either protect Earth/save their home planet OR just straight up take everything over. The rest of it is pretty much just heavy action sequences, special effects, and a whole lot of impossible, throw-your-brain-out concepts. But if you're willing to just be mindless about something, I think this chapter can actually be kinda fun... even if LaBeouf seemingly screams most of his dialogue. While one can certainly make this a fun experience, complete with a badass final fight between Optimus and Sentinel, it's still far from perfect. Sentinel rips a famous Spock line from 'Wrath of Kahn,' just because the voice was Leonard Nemoy. There's also the typical toppling of an entire city without any repercussions just because it looks cool, and even then, it's hard to tell who's who. In the end, I can say I had a better time with it than I remember, and I'd put it above the previous film just for dumb fun entertainment. But I think I would classify this as something of a guilty pleasure at this point. Bad, just not terrible. 2/5  Let's face it, this particular series of live-action adaptations doesn't exactly go over well with the critics, and a gigantic chunk of the fan base hasn't entirely been impressed with the way things have gone. Spoiler alert for further reviews, but I'm not really an exception to all of this, but I will tend to be more forgiving. In the long run, I was never really a heavy-duty 'Transformers' guy, growing up, so one can count me as an outsider of sorts, a.k.a. the audience these movies are trying to appeal to as well as the old-school fans.
The difference between me and a total outsider, however, is that I do still have fond memories of bits and pieces of the animated series, and the toys were kinda awesome (we had a few). There was enough there that when the trailer for this movie came out, I was pretty excited about it - especially when it showed you Optimus Prime transforming for the first time, and in 2007, those visuals weren't exactly as basic as they are nowadays. All in all, things seemed pretty damn promising. As the film opens, we get Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) narrating, giving a brief background to what we're about to see. On planet Cybertron, a war between the Autobots, led by Optimus, and the Decepticons, led by Megatron (Hugo Weaving) breaks out over the AllSpark; the source for all Cybertronian life. The AllSpark ends up on Earth, and to make an over-complicated story short, so eventually do the Decepticons and Autobots, both in search of the now hidden cube. The human side of things involves Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), who pretty much holds the key to finding the AllSpark without knowing it. This ultimately hooks him up with Bumblebee, who ends up being his "first car," which Sam uses primarily to impress a classmate named Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox). Soon enough, the pair find themselves in the middle of the Cybertronic war, on the side of the Autobots, who wish to rebuild their home world. If the Decepticons get their hands on it, it's a little more about power and ruling the universe. This is a "prime" example of a movie that I will probably always have a soft spot for. One must understand that back in 2007, these kinds of visuals were pretty damn amazing to see. It could be compared to something like '300', in which slow motion was utilized to make things look awesome, and now it's just what Zack Snyder is known for. Nowadays, the animation on the Transformers is fairly standard and somewhat lackluster, but back then, it was all pretty mind-blowing stuff, and I remember watching this with my friends quite fondly. Over the years, sequel after sequel has been made, and all but one of them has been something of a dud in one way or another; either barely passable, or just kinda bad. Nowadays, I may not quite see this film as the mind-blowingly amazing film it was when it came out, but I can watch it the same way I can watch something like 'Independence Day'. It's certainly flawed in many places, just as most critics will tell you, but it was a super fun popcorn flick to see on the big screen, regardless of details. I have no qualms about saying this is something that's still a lot of fun, and nostalgic now in more ways than one. I think it's also important to remember that one must throw one's mind out the window for 'Transformers' in order to have a good time. That said, I would still say that this is one of the only "good, good" ones of the series, if only because it kicked things off, and it was something new. But remember, that's only the opinion of a semi-outsider to the whole franchise. Personally, this first chapter still works for me, and it's still a fun ride after so many years. 4/5 |
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