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Fatman

11/25/2020

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The first Christmas movie I have sat down to watch this year is a bit of a doozy. By the end, I really didn't know what to think. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it, it was a bit awkward in some points, but at the same time, I wish I got to see it on the big screen. I have never in my life been this torn on a Christmas movie, and I think it all just boils down to how bizarrely fitting it is for it to be released in 2020. You look at this and you start to wonder "my God, is this the feeling Christmas is gonna give me this year?"

Here's the plot; a somewhat crotchety Chris Cringle (Mel Gibson) runs his shop on a farm, close by North Peak, Alaska. He's happily married to Mrs. Claus, or Ruth (Marianne Jean-Baptiste), as she's named here. There's a bit of an "elephant in the room" when it comes to those particular casting choices, but all it does is further my confusion as to how I feel about Mel Gibson, so I'm just gonna focus on the film itself. Getting back to Ruth, she's the typical Mrs. Claus figure; baking cookies, knitting, sweet attitude. She reminds one of the typically sweet grandmother. Anyway, the couple find themselves on the financial decline because of naughty children and... how that makes sense when bad kids get coal, I don't know, but we just go with it.

The US government has an interest share with Chris' business, and sends a Captain Jacobs (Robert Bockstael) to propose a contract for producing jet fighter components for the military. Realizing they really need it, the couple go through with things and this is what becomes of Santa's workshop - a place to construct components for the military; I mean, how depressing is that? Luckily, for the movie's sake, the elves kind of just take it in stride instead of having the film pull the "feel sorry for them" routine. The elves are there to work for whatever Santa needs, and that's always been the kind of loyal elf I enjoyed - loyal, and out to deliver the goods to millions of happy children.

Children in the year this takes place, however, are seen to have become pretty terrible. This includes spoiled rich brat, Billy Wenan (Chance Hurstfield) who loses a "Best of Show" diorama contest, and essentially threatens the winner with the darkest of things. This, along with a probable many other things, earns him a lump of coal on Christmas morning. He then swears revenge by putting a hit out on Santa, using his personal hitman, Jonathan Miller (Walton Goggins). The film's central plot revolves around this portion of the story, and it's one of those situations that's meant to be comedic, but it's almost just too dark.

All in all, it's one of those brilliant concepts that was somewhat poorly executed. Taking the plot of this, it could have been a hilarious action/comedy if given to the right person. But this comes from brothers Ian and Eshom Nelms who are clearly very much on the Indie movie scene. Instead of taking the concept of a wronged kid taking revenge on Santa and having a lot of fun with it, the film almost takes itself too seriously, and it just seems to make this kind of role inescapable for Mel Gibson. Even as Santa Claus, Mel's gotta be a scruffy-lookin', gritty badass. But as far as the best Badass version of Santa that exists, as far as I'm concerned, that honor goes to 'Rise of the Guardians'.

If you want a cheery Christmas this year, and want to leave all the drama of this year behind you, I might just recommend avoiding this one. There's nothing really cheery, funny, or pleasantly dramatic in this one, and no real Christmassy takeaway at the end. so much as a strict message towards kids who aren't even allowed to watch the movie in the first place, as it's rated R. By the time you're done watching, you are just confused on what to think, and you kinda wanna turn to different dark Christmas movies. For example, 'Bad Santa' is still hilarious, and Even 'Krampus' is a lot of fun for a horror movie. I'll give this movie its core concept, and the originality behind it, but I wish it was put in someone else's directorial hands. Either way, it does have me curious about what else these Nelms brothers have done.

3/5

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