Death of a Unicorn

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Here we have a movie that engaged my curiosity purely based on the subject matter of not unicorns but unicorns as a horror creature, a concept I first saw in one of my faves, 'The Cabin in the Woods.' It stood out because we typically think of unicorns as creatures of purity with some amount of innocence. It is hard to be taken seriously as a creature of nightmares. But despite quite a few criticisms I have for this film, at the very least, they succeeded in that. This is an interestingly balanced film to say the least.

The film opens with Elliot Kinter (Paul Rudd) and his daughter, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), headed to Elliot's boss, Odell Leopold's (Richard E. Grant) estate, mainly for a business deal but also to try to reconnect since the tragic death of Ridley's mother. On their way, during a heated conversation, Elliot slams into a unicorn foal. The pair checks on its condition as it lies dying, and while Ridley makes a cosmic connection with the unicorn, Elliot puts it out of its misery with a tire iron. Luckily for an audience of animal lovers, the thing is heavily CG'd.

The Kitners arrive, having stashed the unicorn in the trunk, not quite knowing what to do about their situation, and meet with Odel's son, Shepard (Will Poulter) and wife, Belinda (Téa Leoni), to discuss whatever business they have to discuss. In the meantime, Ridley heads off to wash her face, only to realize her acne completely vanishes. Elliot's vision also fixes itself; it all comes down to unicorn blood and its healing properties. But shit hits the fan when the Leopold family finds the unicorn foal and chooses to harvest this unicorn's blood to act as a cure for Odell's terminal disease.

In the meantime, two angry unicorn parents make their presence known and are out for some gruesome revenge. While Ridley tries to warn everyone about these unicorns and their history, along with her connection to the foal, she's generally ignored and patronized by the Odels, who are greed-driven and in it for money. This makes this very much a cautionary tale about killing animals to benefit ourselves. In this case, it's not just meat, clothing, or even makeup but playing God with the effects of immortality.

What makes the film reasonably weak is the amount of cliches and predictability within it. There's a ton here; you can see what's around the corner at just about every turn. It's also a horror comedy that I didn't feel gave enough laughs throughout, having many of the jokes fall flat, and it always feels weaker with an all-star cast when that happens. It's a little bland as a dark comedy, but not without its charm, either - like an oatmeal cookie without chocolate chips. But it's not all bad for a horror fan like me.

What I appreciated about the film was that it didn't hold back on any of the unicorns' most swift and brutal kills, the kind I like to see in a good horror movie. I'm not a huge fan of torture; I say just get it done like a good old-fashioned Jason Voorhees. And though the comedy is bland, look to the disgruntled Leopold's assistant Griff (Anthony Carrigan) for the real comedy, especially when he and Shepherd are in a scene together. Their exchanges as a "boss" and an "annoyed doormat" were my real highlights.

This is one horror comedy I could give more credit to if it wasn't so predictable and if it was just a little funnier. It has its moments, and it's another one that has the potential to grow on me upon multiple views. Sometimes, comparing this to Jason Voorhees again, the predictability can be part of a horror movie's charm, and I could see this developing a niche audience over time. I have to give the movie credit for trying to make something like unicorns scary, and with some of the kills in this, it's relatively effective. It just has yet to be perfected.

3/5

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