Samurai Cop

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When it comes to bad movies, I find there are essentially three categories - movies that are just plain bad, movies that are bad on purpose, and movies like this; they want to be more than they are, but are so terribly executed that they eventually become cult classics. This is one I hadn't even heard of until about half a year ago, but upon viewing it, I'm so very happy that it was brought to my attention.

When a Japanese gang called The Katana take control of the drug game in LA, the LAPD brings in a Samurai cop named Joe Marshall (Mathew Karedas). Together with his partner, Frank (Mark Frazer), the pair work to take down the leader of the Katana, Fujiyama (Cranston Komuro). That's the plot in a nutshell, but one should know that this is not something you watch for plot at all.

This is one of those movies that's so bad, it's fascinating. YouTube actually provides quite a few clips from it as word has spread about it over the years, and it stands together with films like 'The Room' and 'Troll 2' for the best of the bad. At just about any given moment of this film, there is something to laugh about, knowing that it's trying to be at least a little serious. The funny thing is, when it tries to have a sense of humor, the jokes are so bad they are hilarious. The jokes in this make Dad jokes look like Carlin's best stand-up. Yet you can't help but laugh at how stupid it all is.

Perhaps the biggest thing to point out about this movie is the overabundance of sex. It is just everywhere, to the point that it often feels like a low budget porn flick. It's not quite as ridiculous looking as it is in 'The Room', but it is all drawn out filler that is often seemingly thrown in just because, hey, sex sells. Believe it or not, there are ways to do sex scenes right, developing character and story. This plays like a porn that takes place within a movie - like 'Logjammin' from 'The Big Lebowski'. But even though that's probably the biggest dig I have against this movie, it certainly doesn't stop there.

The main character is absolutely hilarious to watch, as he takes himself so seriously. He executes his lines in such a way that it sounds like he's reading cue cards out loud, or has a voice in his ear telling him to repeat what it says. His partner, Frank is also funny, but not the way he intends to be. He's thrown in for comic relief, but this is were the worse-than-Dad jokes enter into things. On top of all that, our main villain has an English dubbed accent that sounds painfully stereotypically Japanese, and Joe and Frank further team up with a seductress named Jennifer (Janis Farley) whose only job in the film is to be a sex object. They also have a hot-headed Captain (Dale Cummings) who is so stereotypically the angry captain it's practically a farce.

I can't even say what my favorite parts of this movie are because it's just one of those flicks. It's a movie you need to gather some friends together to watch and laugh at, and would play incredibly well for its cult following as a theatrical release. I could probably honestly watch this one more than I could watch something like 'The Room'. Speaking of which, there IS apparently a 'Samurai Cop 2' that is more self-aware, and stars Tommy Wisseau of 'The Room' fame. But I'm also told it's awful and tries too hard, so we'll see if I bring that one up in the near future. But honestly, this works as a stand-alone regardless. Go find it and check it out, based on the highest recommendation from yours truly. It's so very terrible that it's a solid laugh through and through.

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