Okay, hold onto your hats folks, because this one is a doozy. One could likely tell that already by the very title of this schlock-fest, but this is one of those movies you really have to see to believe. It's right up there with the most classic good-bad movies like 'Troll 2' or 'The Room', but this one still floats very much under the radar, and in my humble opinion, it deserves more ironic praise for what it is. Ready for this?
The film hits the ground running, but fo basic background, a demon once falls in love with a woman and conjures up a bed to make love to her on. When the woman dies, the demon cries tears of blood that fall onto the bed, bringing it to life. Once every ten years, the bed comes to life with the capability to eat and drink anything from chicken wings and wine to human flesh and blood. Only one man named Aubrey Beardsley (Dave Marsh) is ever spared, but doomed by the bed to live an immortal life behind a painting while he watched the bed consume all of its victims. The whole movie consists of narration by this character, which sounds a hell of a lot more elegant than the film actually is.
We're divided into different segments, each having to do with a meal of the day. It all begins with breakfast, involving a young couple who find the bed to make whoopie on, and they are the first victims we see, off camera. Aubrey mocks the bed for being stupid and wasting his food, because the bed remains hungry, and as a result, the bed destroys the house it resides in except for its own room. The location seems to be very remote, and a place people go for thrills or something - like a place rumored to be haunted.
Lunch involves three women, Suzan (Julie Ritter), Diane (Demene Hall) and Sharon (Rosa Luxemburg), who come across the ruins of the property, finding the bed to sleep on that night. Suzan takes a nap before the rest, and is eaten by the bed, but we see the bed react very negatively to Sharon, causing its stomach to bleed. And I'm not making this up, the bed even drinks Pepto Bismol to help itself out. We eventually find out that the probability for its stomach upset is that the girl reminds the bed of the woman responsible for its creation.
For dinner, the bed attempts to eat Diane, who nearly escapes in one of the most drawn-out failed escape attempts you'll ever see on screen, last a solid 3 minutes of screen-time at least. Sharon ends up on her own, and in the meantime, her brother is out searching for her. He finds the bed as well, and I don't even wanna spoil his fate because it's actually kind of hilarious. If you just Google the film's title within "Images", you can find it. I think for any "fan" of this movie, it's a relatively iconic image.
It fittingly ends with dessert, and things get weirder than they already are involving a ritual, and even more sex. At this point you pretty much want the movie to end, but much like a horrible car wreck, you can't turn away. The film is just plain weird altogether, and it really feels like it takes itself seriously. This didn't feel like something made bad on purpose in any way, but was actually meant to scare people out of sleep, knowing they have to sleep some time (needless to say, 'Elm Street' did it better). But seriously, get a group of bad movie fans together and check it out if you can find it, because it has the potential to become a new legendarily bad movie.