Reindeer Games (2000)

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Among the scraps of forgotten holiday movies, one can find this 2000 title, widely regarded as one of the worst Christmas movies ever made. Much like 'Die Hard,' one can easily argue that it isn't a Christmas movie at all, which is fine, but for the sake of argument, I'm classifying it as such. Unlike 'Die Hard,' however, this is just a pain to sit through. Not only is it poorly put together, but there's a healthy list of actors here who don't shine through it all, and you get left with a healthy clump of coal in your stocking.

It is my understanding, however, that despite a decent idea for a holiday heist movie, it was after a lukewarm test screening that the studio got involved, interfered, and ruined everything because they seem to think they know what's good for us. There were many cuts, edits, rewrites, etc., that led to this final product, which once again proves that, when it comes to movies, all we really want for Christmas is less studio interference and more of the filmmakers' vision. The screenplay on this was from Ehren Kruger, who has given us recent titles such as 'F1' and past titles like 'Arlington Road', 'The Ring', 'Top Gun: Maverick', among others.

Having said all that, however, Kruger also has writing credits for a lot of the more failed attempts at 'Transformers' movies, and director John Frankenheimer has a bit of a mixed bag of films under his name as well, but one could have expected this to be at least lukewarm with reception given all of the names attached to it, and being a somewhat unique idea for a Christmas film. Either way, however, let's get into the convoluted plot of this seasonal stinker, all starting at the set of a prison somewhere in Michigan, where cellmates Rudy Duncan (Ben Affleck) and Nick Cassidy (James Frain) are patiently awaiting their release in just two days.

As they await their release, Rudy and Nick discuss the typical subject of what they'll do when they're released. While Rudy only comes up with the simplicity of a nice, warm cup of hot chocolate for the Christmas holiday, Nick brings up the woman he's been writing back and forth to, Ashley Mercer (Charlize Theron) and how excited he is to meet her in person, and jump right into a relationship. However, as it tends to go, things happen in the prison that prevent Nick from reaching his release date, and on that day, Rudy decides to act selfishly, pose as Nick, meet Ashley, and go from there.

Just as things are starting to look up for Rudy, who knows he'll have to end the charade sooner or later, the pair then get themselves kidnapped by a guy named Gabriel (Gary Sinise), Ashley's so-called brother, and his cronies, Pug (Donal Logue), Merlin (Clarence Williams III) and Jumpy (Danny Trejo). The gang mentions the robbery of a casino run by a "dirtbag" named Jack Bangs (Dennis Farina), which they were supposed to pull off before Nick went to prison. Rudy continues to pose as Nick as he finds himself getting deeper and deeper into Nick's would-be life outside prison.

From here, the plot gets rather convoluted, with a whole bunch of twists and turns, not the least of which is the way the film ends. Still, by then, you're not entirely surprised at the "big twist" happening. In fact, you'll probably even be a little bit bored, rolling your eyes at whatever is coming next. While it's certainly not the worst movie I've ever seen, it's certainly up there on that naughty list of Christmas crap that can't be made into a Christmas tradition, even if you want to enjoy it ironically. It doesn't even stop at the convoluted plot, either.

The worst part of the film is that these otherwise solid actors just can't act, which I'd probably chalk up to bad direction. You're not exactly rooting for Affleck throughout the film, Theron's character is pretty annoying, and Sinise is over the top just enough to make his Lt. Dan of 'Forest Gump' fame look like Winnie the Pooh. Truth be told, the film had some potential with its ideas. Still, the execution left a hell of a lot to be desired, with very few redeeming qualities, and a convoluted story that will likely make one wanna turn it off before the awful twist ending even gets revealed.

1/5

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