Twins

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'Twins' was always one of those movies that people seemed to really like, but I never actually bothered with it for whatever reason. Every once in a while, it could come on TV, and I might catch a scene or two. But I'd just get uninterested, change the channel, and for all this time, I have not actually watched it from start to finish. Honest truth - all I really knew about this was that they were twins who weren't very "twin-like". So, how was this for my first viewing?

Plot-wise, we have Julius and Vincent Benedict (Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito, respectively). The pair are the results of an experiment in which six different "fathers" donate their DNA in order to create the "perfect child". The embryo splits, creating the twins, and while Julius carries the strength, knowledge, wisdom and good manners these scientists hope for, Vincent carries a little more of the negative side of things. The results are covered up from their mother, Mary Ann Benedict (Bonnie Bartlett), however. She's never told about Vincent, and told that Julius died in the process.

For decades, nothing is revealed, but when Julius learns of his brother's existence, he heads into the big city to seek him out and reunite. But while Julius is pretty much just after a friendship and peaceful brotherhood with Vincent, things don't look so great for Vincent's gambling debts. As one can probably imagine, a whole lot of the movie is Arnold playing DeVito's "guardian" through all of his criminal problems, while trying very hard to otherwise be a heartwarming story about them finding their father, and figuring out their real story.

I suppose there's a bit of a charm to it, but truth be told, I didn't get a whole hell of a lot out of it. There didn't seem to be a lot that stood out in the comedy department (well, except maybe Schwarzenegger's classic one-liner, "the pavement was his enemy") But really, DeVito is just being that sleazy character we all know and love him for, and a bit of womanizing isn't out of the question with him. Although, it should be mentioned that his official love interest here is a lovely lady named Linda Mason (Chloe Webb), who happens to have a sister, Marnie (Kelly Preston) who is very much into Julius. So two brothers pair off with two sisters and... I guess take that as you will. It's something that feels weird, but at the same time, maybe it's just me?

This is a bit of a difficult one to really, truly like as well, just on a personal level. When you come to find out that DeVito is basically "all the bad of the experiment", it feels very mean-spirited. Honestly, when things are being revealed to Vincent here, the "revealer" is a real dink about the whole thing. However, it all feels so heavy-handed that you have to feel sorry for him. The film doesn't even really have a message of "inner beauty" or anything, it's just "hey, you suck, that is actually scientific fact, and you have to figure out how to live with that". at the very least, however, Julius is a very likable character, albeit a bit awkward at times.

So I guess I could say that this movie is a bit of a mess, at least emotionally. It's a little hard to tell exactly how to feel by the end of it, despite the idea that it does, in fact, end on a happy and uplifting note. The story is straightforward enough, but there's a lot of it that's very typical of the time. Crime comedies like this were very common in the late 80s and early 90s, so there's a good chunk of it that feels all too familiar. The idea of long lost brothers isn't exactly original either, even for the time. I'm probably an odd man out here, but this isn't something I'd rush back to anytime soon.

2/5

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